CupcakesOMG!

Friday Fun Find: Lady Gaga X Terry Richardson

2012-01-27T08:30:00.000-05:00

{Lady Gaga X Terry Richardson, $29.76}

Last weekend, I found myself in Barnes & Noble, which is highly unusual considering books are for nerds. I justified my bookstore appearance by buying only books with pictures in them (two cookbooks, "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea", and "The Hunger Games," which I understand doesn't have pictures but was written for people with a 10th grade vocabulary, so I figure it still counts).

So, anyway, I was adding the Bitchin' Kitchen cookbook to my haul when I spotted a table lined with books and a sign proclaiming they were half off. Never one to pass up a good sale, I wandered over to see how else I could flush my hard earned money down the toilet. And then, I spotted it, like a shining beacon of light, guiding me home: Lady Gaga by Terry Richardson.

Perhaps you'll remember having heard about this coffee table book during the trainwreck of an interview Mindy Kaling did with Bill Clinton on the Today show last month. You see, Mindy followed the assignment, which was to recommend books you'd give for Christmas presents, while Bill was under the impression they were sharing "books that make you look like an erudite douchebag." But anyway, this book made her list, and between that, the fact that this book was, well, all previously unseen pictures of Mother Monster, and a WHOPPING 50% off (making it $25), I knew I had to have it. Having spent a couple hours just flipping through page after page of striking photos, I knew it would be this week's Friday Fun Find.

There are lots of pictures of Gaga just being Stephanie and doing boring things like brushing her teeth and working out, which I like a lot.

But then of course, there's also lots of pictures like this where she's doing asinine things like breathing from an oxygen tank in an egg-like "vessel" too, so it's well-balanced in that way.

Ever wondered what Mother Monster's mother looks like? She's this lady!!!

I can totally see the resemblance, don't you??

I've heard Gaga mention she's a big fan of Bikram. What I haven't heard her say is that she likes to do it wearing a see-through bra. (P.S. Brace yourself for lots of Gaga T 'n A. I feel closer to her than ever after this book.)

What's the latest fun find you've found??

What's In a Name?

2012-01-26T08:30:00.000-05:00

So, a few posts back (I'd hyperlink to it, but I can't remember where), I mentioned that I was on a quest to name my CupcakesOMG! readers à la Lady Gaga's Little Monsters. Because if you've learned nothing else about me, it's that Gaga and I were basically separated at birth, nevermind the fact that she's two years younger than me.

I've come up with a few ideas, but since this is how I'll be referring to YOU, I figured I should get your input. What I do with that input is up to me, but still, you can give it.

1. Hookers - haha, jk. But not if you like. Do you like it??
2. Cupcakestituents - clearly I've been keeping up too much with the Republican presidential candidate debates. An by "keeping up too much with", I mean yelling at the TV about how up their own asses they all are. Yes, even you Ron Paul.
3. The Frosting Tings - Is that your name? (clap, clap) Is that your name? (clap, clap)
4. Honey Boo Boo Childs - This one comes from a small child on Toddlers & Tiaras. Enjoy.
5. The WERKettes - It's like The Rockettes meets RuPaul's Drag Race. I'll be honest, it's not my best work.
6. CakeHeads - These is my take on the Grateful Dead's deadheads. Again, not my best.
7. Cupcult - Okay, this one is actually not so bad, right??
8. OMGeeks - I mean, this one's a no brainer.
9. OMGroupies - You can tell I lost steam here at the end, can't you?

Alright, your turn: which do you like? Do you have other suggestions?? Please tell me so I can start using them immediately!

Also, while we're on the topic of names, please make a note that my Twitter handle has recently changed. You can now find me at @CupcakesOhMG.*

*I would have made it CupcakesOMG, but some chick named Vanessa Wong is bogarting it. Vanessa hasn't sent a tweet since the Titanic sank , so I figure one of two things will happen by calling her out: either y'all will all tweet at her to give it up to its rightful owner (me), or someone reading this will be all "Oh, hey, I know Vanessa Wong. She's terrible at twitter. I'm gonna send her a link to this so she feels bad and gives up her handle to this crazy cupcake chick." Bing, bang, boom, I win.

Pep(per) Squad

2012-01-25T08:30:00.000-05:00

{Vosges Amalfi Bar, Henri Bendel candle}

Until recently, I was never a big fan of pepper. I remember growing up, my dad would pepper EVERYTHING, always twisting the grinder back and forth and back and forth to crack the fresh peppercorns. It was disgusting.

But when I started cooking regularly a few years ago, I realized pepper wasn't disgusting. Far from it. Pepper was like the cheerleader at an otherwise boring sporting event, like football or soccer. (They have cheerleaders at soccer games, right? Like, the JV squad at least...right???)

Soup for dinner? "Ra Ra Sis Boom PEPPER!"

Chicken salad again? "We've got flavor, yes we do! We've got flavor, how 'bout you?!!"

Boring white chocolate and candles? "Gimmie a P...Gimmie a E...Gimmie a -PPER...what does it spell?? PEPPER!!"

Yeah, you heard me. A white pepper candle and a pink peppercorn studded white chocolate bar. I know...you're first inclination is be grossed out. I get it. We alllllllllll get it. But seriously. They're great. And what's even greater is that I bought these two items independent of each other. It was only when I got home that I realized I was on a straight pepper binge. Look for me on an upcoming episode of "My Strange Addiction."

So anyway, the point is, the candle smells amazing. It's not pepper in the way you'd think (a la, inducing of sneezing fits); it's sweeter and rich. And the chocolate bar is exceedingly complex.

It's sweet and creamy white chocolate, enveloped by the mild flavors of pink peppercorn and the acidity of lemon zest.

That's right--I said "enveloped."

Have you ever eaten a dessert peppered with...pepper???

TwoFaced Tuesday: Cocoa

2012-01-24T08:30:00.000-05:00

"TwoFaced Tuesdays" is a joint venture between CupcakesOMG! and Jenna from The Paleo Project. Each week, we select one secret ingredient and put our own paleo spin on it. You can catch up on the entire series here. Also, if you have any special ingredient requests, you can always tweet us (@MHeraldo and @ThePaleoProject) using the hashtag #TwoFacedTuesday.

To preface, you don't have to eat paleo to enjoy today's TwoFaced recipe (or any of our other recipes, for that matter). If you could give a rat's ass about eating within the confines of any one diet, please skip ahead to the pretty pictures.

This weekend, I coaxed Jenna into featuring cocoa as our secret TwoFaced Tuesday ingredient.

"I want to make a dessert," I told her. She was all "awesome." And I was all "cool." And then we went on with our lives. But even as I started whipping up my UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS concoction, I couldn't help but feel like I was setting a bad example.

The phrase "paleo dessert" is kind of an oxymoron. After all, the paleo lifestyle is one that supports all things natural, nutrient-dense, and righteous, whereas dessert is pretty much anything that isn't. It's indulgent and makes your thighs jiggle. And while I'm a bajillion percent all about the occassional "paleo-friendly" indulgence, it should still be considered just that: occassional. And also indulgent. And also "paleo-friendly." Because many of my friends are giving the whole paleo thing a go (which is awesome btw), I'm picking up on lots of leeway people are giving themselves in the name of paleo but in the practice of doin'-it-wrong.

What I'm trying to say is that the fundamentals of paleo are this:

Eat meat. Eat tons of meat.
Also, eat veggies. Lots and lots of veggies. Avoid white potatoes and corn, where possible, but just eat lots of veggies.
Have a little fruit. One apple and a handful of berries a day at most. It's sweet because it has sugar in it. So don't eat too much of it.
Enjoy seeds and nuts, but not too many because they're high in calories and if you eat too much you might shit your pants.
PLEASE use healthy, natural fats like olive oil or coconut oil.

Tell me where on the list you see "eat nut butters, nut flour, and maple syrup like it's your job." Oh you don't see it? THAT'S BECAUSE IT ISN'T THERE!!

Sorry, I really shouldn't yell, but I don't want y'all to get the wrong idea. Paleo can take many forms, but if you're leaning toward the side that encourages maple syrup and coconut flour on a daily basis, the fact is, you're not eating paleo. However, if you consider these to be only infrequent treats, then by all means, enjoy your paleo cookies, paleo bread, or, the delectable creation I bring you today, paleo chocolate pavlova.

Pavlova is basically a large meringue cookie, made with egg whites and sugar. It's pretty easy to make, but it looks real fancy-like, guaranteeing to impress anyone you serve it to.

To make it more "paleo-friendly", I swapped the white and brown sugars for honey. Then I whipped it with the egg whites until it formed stiff peaks.

This is a stiff peak. That's what she said.

After adding the [unsweetened] cocoa powder to the mixture, I then spread it out onto a parchment lined baking sheet.

Oh, and so that you get it the right shape, you'll trace a bowl on the parchment paper and then flip it over, using the outline as a guide for the pavlova.

After it bakes for a while, you can top it with yummy things like...

...whipped coconut cream...

...and dark-chocolate-covered raspberries (sorry, no link...that recipe should be pretty self-explanatory)...

...and a few dark chocolate shavings.

Ya know, for effect.

The end result is this rich combination of a chocolate souffle and a gooey brownie.

You want a piece of it right now, don't you?

Now, off with yourself to see Jenna's interpretation of cocoa!!

Paleo-Friendly Chocolate Pavlova
Makes about 8 slices

4 large egg whites, room temperature
3/4 cup honey (Kyle thought it was a bit sweet, so try experimenting with 1/2 cup)
pinch of salt
2 TBSP good unsweetened cocoa powder
1 pint raspberries
4 oz. high quality dark chocolate (at least 70%)

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Using an 8-inch wide bowl, trace the bowl onto a piece of parchment paper. Place it upside down on a rimmed cookie sheet (this will serve as a guideline later).
Combine eggs whites and honey in a large glass bowl. Place bowl over a pot of simmering water to create a double boiler (don't get water in the mixture) and whisk until the honey is completely dissolved in the egg whites and the mixture is slightly warm, about 3 minutes.
Add a pinch of salt to the mixture. Whisk egg whites and honey mixture with a stand or hand mixer on high until stiff peaks form, about 8 minutes.
Gently fold cocoa into egg whites until mixture is not longer streaky. Don't over mix.
Using an offset spatula or a flat spatula, gently spread out meringue onto the parchment paper, careful not to touch the edge of the circle you traced earlier. The meringue will spread out a bit while it cooks. Make a small well in the center of the pavlova to avoid rising.
Bake until the pavlova is dry to the touch, about an hour. While that's baking, melt the chocolate and dip the raspberries in it. Set in fridge to set.
Let pavlova cool on the parchment on a wired rack for another 30 minutes or so.
Top with whipped coconut cream, chocolate dipped raspberries and shaved dark chocolate.

What's in My Purse--Real People Edition

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

What you see before you is not a staged photo. These are the literal contents of my purse, as of last night. For the past several weeks, I had "clean out purse" on my to do list, making about as much progress on that one as "get car inspected" and "lose 10 pounds." So last night, as I was embarking on this challenge, I thought it would be fun to do that thing where people take the crap that they carry around in their so-called purse, take a picture of it, and then share it with unsuspecting readers. Although, unlike so many of those "What's in My Purse" blog posts where everything is nice and neat and nary a gum wrapper is in sight, I present to you what I'd like to think MOST ladies' purses look like:

These are the contents of a person with allergies, asthma, and combination skin (please see the half-used blue face blotter). It's imperative I carry around Kleenex with me at all times because I will, without a doubt, have a severe allergy attack if I don't. And also asthma. Do I throw away these used items? No. Is it gross? Yes. However, much like a boyscout, I pride myself on always being prepared, hence the half dozen band-aids, specifically reserved for the blisters any of my 5-inch heels will probably give me. And the matches, just in case I need to light a fire under someone's ass.

Yep, there was indeed an unwrapped tampon in my purse. Not because I would have used it in this capacity, but again, in the hopes of being prepared, I once put a wrapped tampon in my purse. When I [obviously] didn't use it, it wiggled itself out of its wrapper and took up residence as that weird, awkward thing I shouldn't have probably shown to anyone. But that doesn't embarrass me half as much as the scrunchie. OMG, I promise it's only for tying my hair back in a low bun at night to sleep. It was the advice my hair colorist gave me...I swear!!!

Okay, so I think most ladies carry around some kind of lotion during the winter months, so this is okay, right?? Nothing fancy--just a rich, thick lotion to prevent my hands from turning into that of an 80-year-old. Those earrings in the corner are the ones I wore for Halloween this past year (yes, that's how long it's been since I've cleaned out my bag...longer, really). That thing stuck to the back of the one? An eyeball eraser. It was part of the decor at the Halloween party I went to, and when I lost the back of the earring, I remembered the ol' high school trick of using an eraser to replace the back of your earring. Works like a charm!

So anyway, that's the crap in my purse. Or should I say, the crap that WAS in my purse. Because now, it's free of trash, eyeball erasers, and unwrapped tampons. But check back with me in a few weeks. Who knows what kind of weird shit I'll have in there by then.

What weird crap is in your purse??

Lady in Red (and Black and White)

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

{Dress: ManRepeller, Blazer: Zara, Jewelry: Arden B., Express, Shades: Thierry Lasry, Shoes: Sam Edelman}

photos by Monique Dolbin

Welcome back, to pictures of me wearing cute outfits! Today's installment has two exciting components.

First of all, I get to blogger-model my amazing red Man Repeller dress. Literally, this dress was designed by Leandra Medine, of Man Repeller fame. Sadly for all of you, the dress was only available for a limited time, but just so you know, the proceeds went to charity and the fabric is a divine silk. Jealous??

To be honest, I don't see what's repellent about it: it's red, it's got dainty straps, and it shows some leg. I'm pretty sure those are all surefire ways to propel men your way. I decided it needed a little help in the form a black and white tuxedo jacket and heels with spikes on 'em. Now that's how you keep the boys away.

The second component to this post is to unveil the special offer from the amazing photographer who snapped these shots of me looking super glam for CupcakesOMG! readers (read: you too can look amazing in your own pictures!).

As I mentioned earlier this week, Monique is a fantastic photographer who recently launched her professional photography business. As part of this launch and new partnership with CupcakesOMG!, she's put together a super cool offer for folks looking for anything from great Facebook or LinkedIn pictures, gifts for family (or other strangers who want pictures of you--that's your business to be weird), headshots, or just something for you to look at when you're feeling blue and say, "damn, I look good."

Monique will be holding 30-minute mini-sessions at a set location in the DC and NoVA area for CupcakesOMG! readers!!! (dates TBD). You can select from four options:

$45 for 2 images
$75 for 4
$110 for 6
$150 for all

That's it! The price includes the sitting fee and the images. Availability is limited, so if you'd like to reserve a spot, reach out soon via Monique's website. Of course, if you'd like a longer session with multiple looks, you can always reach out to Monique for more inquiries.

I've gotten several questions over the last few days regarding my make up, and yes, I did do it myself. And yes, I agree--it does look great. So for an even extra exciting offer, I will be available for make-up applications for another $25.

I mean, really, who DOESN'T want pictures of themselves walking and smiling and holding their designer coffee-drink in the big city???

I mean, really???

TwoFaced: Red Pepper

2012-01-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

"TwoFaced Tuesdays" is a joint venture between CupcakesOMG! and Jenna from The Paleo Project. Each week, we select one secret ingredient and put our own paleo spin on it. You can catch up on the entire series here. Also, if you have any special ingredient requests, you can always tweet us (@MHeraldo and @ThePaleoProject) using the hashtag #TwoFacedTuesday.

In today's first order of business: do you guys like the recipes that Jenna and I are coming up with each Tuesday? I mean, for weeks now, we've been toiling away for hours in the kitchen, whipping up innovative and delicious Paleo-friendly recipes to suit your every whim. Your EVERY. WHIM.

And because we both crave constant validation and admiration, we're gonna keep going, knowing that, at some point, you will give us the approval we so desperately need/want/expect. So with that, we bring you complementary recipes. Yes, we're taking TwoFaced one step further this week by not only using the same star ingredient, but also two dishes that are designed to be enjoyed together. Don't get it yet?? Please, to see the roasted red pepper walnut dip I made below:

The ingredients are simple and yet full of flavor. Whirred up real good in a food processor until creamy, it's the perfect dip that will get you to eat your veggies...or, ya know, the thing that Jenna made. (And yes, this makes two dips in a row for TwoFaced Tuesday, but screw you! The SuperBowl is nearly upon us and everyone knows the SuperBowl is all about dips. And that's it.)

I don't even LIKE red peppers and I LOVE the dip. Just sayin'.

On a separate note requiring praise and admiration, how great is my manicure??

Yeah, they're nail polish stickers. Pretty great, right?

Be sure to check out the fantastic recipe Jenna made that would pair amazingly with this dip!!

Roasted Red Pepper Walnut Dip

Adapted from Everyday Paleo

1 cup walnuts
6 oz. roasted red peppers (about half a jar)
2 Tbsp. olive oil (you can also use coconut milk--you might need more to get the right consisitency)
1 Tbsp. chives
1 clove garlic
salt and pepper to taste

Add walnuts to food processor. Pulse nuts into fine crumbs.
Add remaining ingredients and pulse until creamy and dip-able. Add more oil or coconut milk to reach desired consistency.
Serve with sliced bell pepper, carrots, cucumber, or Jenna's recipe.

In the Navy

2012-01-16T09:19:00.000-05:00

{Dress: ASOS, Coat: Express, Hat and ring: H&M, Shoes: Sam Edelman, Sunglasses: Thierry Lasry}

photos by Monique Dolbin

If you're stalking me on Facebook like a good reader would, you would have seen a sneak preview of these amazing photos Monique Dolbin from Life in Focus took of me. Is that narcissistic to say about pictures of yourself? That they're "amazing?" Regardless, that's what they are...and it's not at all because I'm so incredibly bloggery-modelesque. Well, not entirely, anyway. They're amazing because Monique has an amazing eye for composition, lighting, and color.

I used to work with Monique a few years ago. Since then, she's taken up photography, at first as a hobby, and more recently, as a professional. She's still building her business (complete with a package tailor-made for those of us who have gone/are still going through our quarter-life crisis), so she asked me if I'd like to take a few pictures in D.C. to round out her portfolio. And who am I to say no to the chance to have my picture taken?? Not Melissa, that's for sure!

You always hear people say that such-and-such photographer was "so great" to shoot with. Listen. I've shot with a few photographers in my day, and for the most part, they fall into one of two categories: bored out of their mind or creepy and inappropriate. I couldn't be happier to report that Monique is neither of things, and truly was SO GREAT to work with. She sat down with me first to chat about the day and what we would accomplish (and gossip about a few former coworkers, nbd). She gave great direction and immediately made me feel comfortable, which, btw, is key when it comes to getting your picture taken, whether it's engagement pictures or, ya know, narcissistic solo photos!

Let's face it: you gotta be comfortable to let someone get this close to your face.

You can check out more of my shoot with Monique here and here.

P.S. More pictures from my shoot with Monique to come later, along with an exclusive offer for CupcakesOMG! readers!!

Friday Fun Find

2012-01-13T11:09:00.000-05:00

Can I first point out how excited I am to have finally found a Friday blog feature ripe with alliteration (much like this very sentence)? I mean, in the world of blogging, a regular Friday feature is pretty much a must that I've been avoiding for no better reason than I couldn't think of something else that started with "f." This is my brand, you guys...I gotta represent.

Now that I've passed that hallmark, I can think of no better find in recent history than Sephora by O.P.I nail color drying drops at a steal for $4:

I'm sure you've tried some kind of quick drying serum in the past--perhaps that spray can of mink oil that undoubtedly has no actual mink anything in it that your local nail salon pushes to try to get you out of the drying station as fast as possible, which actually doesn't bother you anyway since they got rid of the comfy seats and brought in backless stools to try and fit thrice as many people than the square footage actually allows in just ONE MORE attempt to make what should be your relaxing manicure a hellacious visit to a petri dish?!? Or maybe that's just me? Nevertheless, whatever quick drying techniques you've used before are now completely obsolete, thanks to this little potion.

After you've painted your nails, you use the eyedropper to drop one or two drops of the serum onto your wet nails. They're dry to the touch in one minute and completely dry in five.

{Essie polish in Mint Candy Apple, $8}

When I say "completely dry" I mean "make your bed, scratch your face, run your finger through your hair and nary a scratch or dent be made in your polish" dry.

I took this pictures about 45 seconds after I painted my nails, and still, not a single smudge on them.

What's your latest fun find??

Asian Beef with Broccoli

2012-01-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

It's unofficially recipe week here at CupcakesOMG!, have you noticed? Look, I'd apologize, but I don't generally consider showering your eyeballs with gorgeous pictures of food and delicious-but-still-entirely-good-for-you-recipes worthy of an "I'm sorry." I'm sorry I'm NOT sorry.

I guarantee nobody will be sorry if you make this paleo version of beef and broccoli.

It's kinda crazy to think that something as pure as a dish named after two healthy ingredients could be full of flour, sugar, and a slew of unpronounceable ingredients. Because, just in case you weren't aware, that's how most Chinese food gets made. Don't get me wrong--I love me some good Chinese takeout, but even when you order something like "chicken with cashews", you're consuming the equivalent amount of sugar as one might find in a cupcake. And cupcakes are delicious, so just eat one of those, by God!

So the next time you find yourself craving Chinese, but not diabetic shock, this beef with broccoli is a fantastic option.

It's a one-pot/wok dish and it reheats incredibly, making it ideal for leftovers.

You could also serve it over cauliflower rice to get the full effect, but I felt like I was already going above and beyond with the sesame seeds.

If you're not a fan of beef, try it with pork or chicken. Matter of fact, I'm gonna be making this all over again with chicken this weekend. That's just one more tip for those of you who are trying to stalk me.

Beef with Broccoli
Makes 6-8 servings
Adapted from "Make it Paleo"

2 Tbsp. Toasted sesame oil
5 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. ginger, minced
1-2 lbs. beef, cut into 1" cubes (I bought what was on sale)
4-6 cups broccoli florets
1/2 cup green onion, thinly sliced
1/4 cup coconut aminos
salt and pepper to taste
1 tsp. red pepper flakes (optional)
1 Tbsp. white sesame seeds, for garnish

Heat sesame oil in a wok or skill over high heat.
Add garlic and ginger to wok, and saute for 2 minutes until oil is infused.
Add steak, stirring until browned on all sides.
Once steak is seared, add broccoli. Continue to saute over high heat.
Add green onion, and an extra tablespoon of oil if needed.
Add coconut aminos and season with salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes.
Continue to saute another 2-3 minutes, until all the flavors are combined.
Garnish with a sprinkle of sesame seeds to serve.

Loaded Baked Faux-tato Soup

2012-01-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

So, everyone knows baked potatoes are delicious. They're even more delicious when they're fully loaded with sour cream, cheese, bacon bits, and chives. Then some ridiculously smarty person came along and was all "baked potatoes are pretty good, but what if you could eat your baked potato with a spoon?" and that's how loaded baked potato soups were born. I'm leaving out a really important part of this story. It's the part where I showed up and was all "yeah, baked potato soup IS pretty good, but it's def not paleo, so I'm gonna make it paleo and then share it with all y'all and then rake in all the praise I get."

The potato substitute is cauliflower, what else? And the coconut milk adds all the richness of cream and butter without any of the dairy. The sauteed onion gives the cauliflower just enough sweetness to balance the saltiness of the bacon. Oh, and did I mention? It tastes exactly like loaded baked potato soup and IT'S DELICIOUS!!!!

Like basically everything I make, I'm gonna tell you this recipe is super easy, although this time, I won't be lying, because it is super easy! Steam some cauliflower, saute some onions, put 'em in the blender with some chicken stock, coconut milk, salt and pepper and blend until you get a soup-like consistency. This is soup, after all.

Pour it in a bowl.

Top it with some cheese.

Add some crumbled, crispy bacon and some sliced green onion.

And then...

well...

you know...

...I mean, you do know, right?

Oh yeah, you know.

And if you're anything like me, you can just mix it all together before you eat it.

Now, please to leave me your praise in the comments.

Loaded Baked Faux-tato Soup

1 large head of cauliflower, chopped
1 yellow onion, diced
4-5 strips bacon
shredded cheese
green onion, sliced thin
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup coconut milk
salt and pepper

Fry bacon in a pan until crisp. Set aside.
Steam cauliflower until tender. While cauliflower steams, saute onions in bacon grease.
When onions are transparent and cauliflower is tender, add them to a blender with the chicken stock, coconut milk, and salt and pepper to taste. You might need to add more coconut milk or salt and pepper.
Blend until soup reaches your desired consistency. It should be thick, but, ya know, soupy.
Top with cheese, crumbled bacon bits, and chives.

TwoFaced Tuesday: Dill

2012-01-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

Remember that time I made sweet potato chips? It was like, yesterday. Whatever. So anyway, I posed a question to you: what is a chip without dip? Nothing. The answer is nothing.

I don't know if it's the new year's resolutions or the constant shoving of my paleo ideals down everyone's throats, but lately, it seems like everyone is giving the paleo lifestyle a whirl. Because I know there are many of you who are getting antsy at the thought of another meal of chicken and broccoli (which is absurd btw, when Jenna and I have a plethora of amazing paleo dishes to try), I thought this chip and dip recipe would be the breath of fresh air your diet probably so desperately needs.

There's a small caveat to this dip, though, I'll be honest. Anyone who knows anything about paleo knows that strict practitioners abstain from all dairy (which is why we paleo-ers swear by coconut and almond milk). Okay, so now that we're straight on that, this recipe does call for Greek yogurt. Full fat Greek yogurt, of course, but dairy nevertheless. That said, this dip is still a pretty good excuse for more of a "primal" paleo lifestyle, but if it's too wild for your taste, consider swapping the cup of yogurt for about 1/4 cup of coconut milk instead. Everything CAN work out, you guys.

For this week's TwoFaced challenge, Jenna and I decided it was time to feature an herb. Somehow we ended up with dill, so clearly the dip has dill in it. Don't believe me? Please refer to the photo below:

Ha HA, sucker!! A quick mash of your ingredients later and voila! Dip!

There's clearly tons of things you could eat this with--carrots, cucumber, bell peppers, cherry tomatoes--but the crispy sweet potato chips I made seemed like the perfect pairing.

Hand to God, you could serve this at your Superbowl party and nobody would ever know you were feeding them "health food." I dare you to pull it off this year.

I double-dog dare you.

For more dill goodness, make sure to check out Jenna's TwoFaced recipe!

Avocado Dill Dip

1-2 avocados
1 cup Greek yogurt (or about 1/4 cup coconut milk)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon fresh chives, finely chopped
1 teaspoon dried dill
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Pit avocados.
Add the rest of the ingredients to the avocados. Mash with a fork until everything is well incorporated, and, um, mashed.
Serve with homemade sweet potato chips or fresh veggies.

Sweet Potato Chips

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

You know what pride is?

No, it's not running and completing and then bragging to a bunch of people who don't care that you completed your first or tenth marathon. Nor is it seeing your child heading off to an Ivy League school on a full scholarship. It's not even that thing, when like, you skip the bread basket at your favorite Italian restaurant AND dessert (although that is pretty impressive).

No, pride is making over a snack that has the nutritional reputation equivalent to that of, say, a drug dealer, into something equally addicting yet entirely healthy. Pride is figuring out how to make sweet potato chips:

The key to making these crispy rounds of, I dunno, heaven!, is a mandolin. It's a real fancy-like kitchen tool with an EFFING sharp blade that could cut a bitch that you pretty much have to have in order to make this (or any) chip recipe. It can also make the chore of julienning and dicing veggies a breeze.

See what I mean? It's kinda like a guillotine for tubers and other root vegetables.

Anyway, the mandolin is key for getting your sweet potato chips thin enough to properly crisp in the oven. Oh, did I forget to mention this chips are baked and not fried? Yeah, like I said...heaven!!!

After a light brushing of olive oil and a sprinkle of salt, the chips are ready for the oven. Flip 'em once or twice as they bake, then let them cool and voila! Instant [insert-diet-of-choice-here]-friendly snack:

And because I want to end things on a cliffhanger, you can come back tomorrow for TwoFaced Tuesday to see what I made to dip these chips in.

Because after all, what's a chip without a dip?

Sweet Potato Chips

1-2 large sweet potatoes
2-3 Tbsp. olive oil
salt, pepper, and any seasoning of your choice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Rinse sweet potatoes.
Using a mandolin, slice the potato on the thinnest setting.
Lay the potato slices on a cookie sheet in an even layer (i.e., don't overlap the chips). You may have to do several batches. Lightly brush the chips with olive oil and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and seasoning.
Bake for about 20 minutes, or until the chips are crispy all the way through. You'll need to flip the chips at about 10 minutes in.
Transfer to a cooling rack to cool for a few minutes.
Try not to devour in one sitting.*

*Good luck with that.

CougarTown

2012-01-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

{Tom Ford Nail Lacquer in Ginger Fire, $30}

I'm what you might call "obsessedicals" with nail polish. Bold, neutral, shimmery, whore glitter; I'm the affirmative action of nail polish--I do not discriminate.

So when I was perusing Tom Ford's new beauty line of polishes, I was ready to snatch them all up. However, at 10 times the price of a bottle of three-buck-Chuck, I was only ready to splurge on one to start. This color spoke to me, and not only because it's called Ginger Fire (although I'll be honest, it didn't hurt).

What you can't discern from these photos are the small flecks of shimmery gold throughout the bright orange color. It's just enough to keep it from being too flat. Or something. I'm just trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about, you guys.

I obviously had to paint my nails with this as soon as I got it, but I couldn't stop there. I decided a bold polish needed a bold lip. And eye. And outfit. And jewelry. What I realized was, I needed to look like a cougar.

And so with full red lip, heavy black eyeliner, my red and white striped Stylemint tee, the leopard infinity scarf Jenna got me and a jaguar-faced cocktail ring, I was ready to bring all the boys to the yard. And then tell them they were smelly, making a mess, and pissing me right off. Because that's the reaction the boys young enough to be equivalent to my 27-year-old cougar would elicit from me.

TwoFaced: Mushrooms

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

If I had feelings, I would probably feel bad about missing last week's TwoFaced recipe, but I don't, so I don't. Also, it was Kyle's birthday last Tuesday. You may all feel free to leave your belated birthday wishes for him in the comments. I'll show them to Kyle later, in between watching season 2 of The Sopranos and scolding him for something really naggy, like leaving his shoes in the middle of the room or whatever.

Anyway, in honor of Kyle's birthday (not really, but I need a segue) and two days off work last week, I decided to make a special breakfast treat: paleo breakfast pizzas. The star ingredient being, what else? Mushrooms.

So it goes, portabello mushroom "crust", eggs, meat, and other junk for toppings. It's basically the easiest thing ever.

Start by frying your bacon. Then tell your boyfriend to fry the eggs because you're not good at doing more than one at a time.

After assembling the pizzas, step back and admire your handiwork.

Devour in mere seconds because it's just.that.good.

Then, if you're Kyle, go back for a second one.

Before you leave, make sure to check out the mushroom-y goodness at The Paleo Project!!

Paleo Breakfast Pizza
Serves 4 (or 2 hungry people)

3-4 portabello mushrooms
1 egg for each mushroom
1 strip of bacon for each mushroom
Salsa
Avocado
herbed goat cheese, crumbled
basil or cilantro

Cut strips of bacon into bite size pieces. Cook over medium heat until desired crispiness. Set aside.
Remove stems and gills from mushroom caps.
Drizzle fat of your choice (coconut oil, olive oil, butter, ghee) in a separate pan over medium heat. Saute mushrooms for a few minutes on each side, or until tender.
Fry eggs in the pan with the bacon fat.
To assemble "pizzas", layer mushroom on the bottom, add egg and then remaining toppings (salsa, sliced avocado, herbed goat cheese and chopped herbs).

Things I Made: Gold Stem Monogrammed Wine Glasses

2012-01-02T07:30:00.000-05:00

There are many things I'm good at: looking good, walking in 5 inch heels, making paleo versions of non-paleo food, passing judgment on complete strangers, and the like. While I'd love nothing more than to wax poetic about my many talents, this post actually highlights my one and only shortcoming.

If you guessed compassion, you'd be wrong. But close. It's crafting!

I've made a few feeble attempts at some DIY this year (namely this and this), but nothing all that impressive. So when I went home to Houston for the holidays (Happy New Year, btw), I immediately made plans with Taylor from TaylorMade--we went to high school together--for a one-on-one crafting lesson. It was like being with Martha Stewart, except with less anger and more praise.

Taylor is probably the craftiest person I know. She can sew, paint, cook, and redesign, all while juggling wife and mom duties. I'm pretty sure she doesn't sleep. So when we decided to get together for a craft lesson, she came up with this completely perfect project: gold stem monogrammed wine glasses.

After seeing her house, and cooing over all her craft projects in real life, we sat down for a delicious lunch of pimento cheese croissant sandwiches, her black bean salad (so delicious!), and loads of reminiscing. Two hours had passed and her husband came back with her two boys before we even began our crafting. Eventually, we got started on the wine glasses by giving them a good wash.

Here's what I like about this craft: for the most part, it's really simple to execute. The only part that might be hard to replicate on my own is the monogramming, but we'll get to that later. To start, you need painter's tape and some scrap paper.

Wrap the part of the glass you don't want to paint gold and then tape it to secure it.

We put a couple pieces of tape around the base just to ensure an even line.

For the spray paint portion of the craft, you should really take it outside, lest you relish the idea of a contact high...and painting your carpet gold. Now, that's a craft idea!

Follow the directions for spray painting and get after it.

Paint both the top and bottom of the glass, then turn upside down to dry. Careful not to spray it on too thick, otherwise you'll see paint drips.

After applying the second coat, remove the tape before it dries. This will help prevent peeling off the paint when it's dried.

You could easily stop here, but being the world-class crafter that she is, Taylor owns something called a "Cameo". I'm not entirely sure what it is, but basically it will make a stencil of anything you can imagine. You slide a swatch of vinyl in the machine and it cuts out the shape of whatever you design. We kept it simple and did initials on our glasses.

You pop out the letters and then using transfer paper to move them to the glass.

In addition to the stencils, you'll also need this:

Etching cream looks like a paint, but it's actually a cream that etches away at layers of glass, giving you that textured effect wherever you use it on the glass.

Using a paint brush, we painted on a fairly heavy coat on top of our letters. (Tip: the thicker the coat of etching cream, the deeper the etching will appear.)

While we waited for the etching cream to dry (about 5 minutes), I took some time to document Taylor's crafting resources. Please take note of her cubby filled with fabric swatches, and jars of buttons, straight pins, and other stuff for sewing that I don't understand:

She also has this really clever way of storing ribbon underneath her sewing desk. Is a sewing desk a thing?

Eventually, you rinse off the etching cream and voila! Your monogrammed glass is complete.

Pardon my fingerprints. And also, don't try and steal my identity. Kthanks.

As far as maintenance, I have no clue if these are dishwasher safe, so I'm not taking any chances and I'm hand washing these as we use them. Interestingly, Kyle was disappointed that I didn't make one with a "K" on it for him. I had no idea Kyle was so into gold stemware. Learn something new every day.

Huge thank you to Taylor for inviting me into her home, letting me use her crafting supplies, and making me the BEST CRAFTER ON EARTH!*

*More specifically, the best crafter in my apartment.

Kolaches and Me

2011-12-22T14:24:00.001-05:00

For the past two years, I've had a craving. Not for cowbell, but for kolaches (pronounced: kuh-lotch-eeees). This is reason #589 I know something is wrong with me. I mean, multi-year cravings?? Who does that, besides omni-pregnant Michelle Duggar??

"Why not just eat a kolache then, Melissa?" you might be wondering, to which I would say you "What are you, some kind of idiot??" (I can be a real bitch sometimes, you guys), because kolaches are as hard to come by outside of Texas as say, real noses or intelligence in a Miss USA pageant.

Because of their scarcity, my guess is there is an unfortunate number of you have never seen/eaten/heard of these delectable little breakfast treats before. Therefore, I feel it's my civic duty to enlighten you (and also purely self-indulgent to satiate my craving) about that which will likely leave your life, and thus any meaning in it, empty.

Kolache shops are about as prevalent as donut shops here in my home state. As a matter of fact, you can even find kolaches sold IN donut shops! You can buy them individually or by the dozen. I did the latter because, hey, when in Rome...

Kolaches can be either savory or sweet, in flavors like sausage and cheese, bacon and cheese, "Italian" (which is just pepperoni), and a variety of fruit toppings.

{Cream Cheese kolache topped with brown sugar}

All kolaches start with a delicious, slightly sweet, yeasty dough, very much like Hawaiian bread.

They don't really look like much to the naked eye, but this is one of the few times in life I would sway from my motto of "it's what's on the outside that matters," to implore you that true beauty can really only be found on the inside of these pillows of delight:

For it's on the inside that you will find gobs of bacony, cheesey goodness swirling around the light, fluffy exterior.

Or link sausage and cheddar cheese.

And for the less adventurous eaters of you, one of my favorite kolache shops (and the one my mom used to visit when I was only a wee child), Morning Kolaches, also makes fluffy, gooey cinnamon rolls:

But this isn't amateur hour, so I left the cinnamon rolls to my Dad and went on ahead and ate three kolaches this morning. I've never felt more lethargic in my life.

Oh, and, for the record, I'm not staying Paleo through the holidays. This isn't North Korea* you guys...I can do what I want!!!

*On a serious note, how awesome is it to NOT live in North Korea??

TwoFaced Wednesday: Sweet Potato Salad

2011-12-21T08:30:00.000-05:00

I've already told Jenna this, but today's TwoFaced is probably my favorite recipe to date. And it all started with near-rotting tubers.

You see, last week, I bought three large sweet potatoes for literally no reason. Usually when I go grocery shopping, I try to plan out what I'll be making and build a list based on a predetermined set of meals, otherwise I'd end up bringing home things like edible flowers and multiple cartons of Coconut Milk Egg Nog, basically stuff I don't really know how to justify spending my money on. I had no plans to make anything with sweet potato, but they were singing their siren song to me, like a trampy little harlot asking passers-by if they were "lookin' for a good time." I'm talking about prostitutes, by the way.

Slutty sweet potatoes

So as I mentioned, I had no reason to buy sweet potatoes, but I figured I could mash them or make them into fries at the very least, but a week had passed and still, I had nary given them a second glance, until I remembered an Asian-style sweet potato salad Kyle's mom makes. It's sweet, spicy, tangy, and entirely addicting. If I remember correctly, her version included peanut butter and possibly some brown sugar. I was able to make a couple easy swaps, and one surprising swap for soy sauce, making this sweet potato salad paleo and delicious!

Most recipes call for soy sauce, but I nearly opted to leave it out (soy ain't paleo, ya know?), until I spotted this miracle of miracles.

Yeah, in case coconut crystals and coconut nectar weren't cray cray enough, Coconut Secret goes and blows your mind all over again with a soy-free soy sauce (made with coconut nectar and salt). It's not as salty as the real stuff, but it makes for an incredible substitute (even if it does punch you right in the ovaries at $5 a bottle) in any recipe calling for soy sauce.

I'm gonna just stuff my face with some of this while you go
check out The Paleo Project's take on the sweet potato!

Sweet Potato Salad
Makes a lot

2-3 large sweet potatoes
3 Tbsp. almond butter
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup Raw Coconut Aminos (soy sauce replacement)
4 teaspoons toasted sesame seed oil
3 teaspoons minced peeled ginger
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 Tbsp. maple syrup

Garnish

2 Tbsp. roasted, unsalted almonds, chopped
bunch of green onion, sliced thinly

Peel and chop sweet potatoes into bite-sized chunks. Add potatoes to a pot and add enough water to cover. Bring to a boil until sweet potatoes are fork tender (about 5 minutes). Strain potatoes.
In a large bowl, whisk all the other ingredients together. Add potatoes, green onions, and almonds. Toss to coat. Taste it at this point, and then add salt and pepper if needed.
Refrigerate for a few hours before serving.

Gingerbread Cupcakes, CupcakesOMG! Style

2011-12-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel cheated when you visit my blog and realize I rarely post about cupcakes anymore? Yeah, well you can suck it, because this is MY blog and I do what I want!

However, today you're in luck! I made these sweet and spicy gingerbread cupcakes topped with white chocolate buttercream for my friend Leslie and my joint-Christmas party this weekend.

They tasted like Christmas and the 4th of July, sweet and cool and spicy and hot all rolled into one.

Are you dying to try them yet?

I realize these look a little more "home ec" than my usual cupcake offerings, but the truth of the matter is the white chocolate buttercream is incredibly sweet, which pairs really well against the spicy cupcakes, but even still, a glob of piped buttercream would just have been too much. And you know I'm basically like Buddy the Elf when it comes to sugar...

So instead, I swiped it on with an offset spatula and sprinkled on a few gingerbread shaped sprinkles. I'm pretty sure there's some unspoken rule that you need to put a garnish of something that's in a dish on top of it so people know what they're about to get themselves into. That's my reasoning.

Gingerbread Cupcakes with White Chocolate Buttercream

Makes about 22 cupcakes

Cupcakes

1 1/2 cups AP flour
2 Tbsp. ground ginger
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, room temp
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 Tbsp. unsulfured molasses
4 eggs, room temp
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cupcake tin with liners. Mix together flour and spices.
In an electric mixture, beat butter and sugar on high until pale and fluffy (about 5 minutes). Add the molasses, beat until combined. Add eggs, one at a time and beat until each one is incorporated. Don't forget to scrape down the side of the bowl as needed. Add vanilla.
Reduce speed to low. Slowly add flour mixture, beating until just combined.
Using an ice scream scoop, fill liners 3/4 full with batter. Bake for about 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. While cupcakes cool, make buttercream.

White Chocolate Buttercream

2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp
12 oz. white chocolate (don't use chips, they have a waxy coating that will give the frosting a weird texture...look for a baking chocolate bar instead)
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 Tbsp. milk

In a glass bowl, melt the white chocolate (I'm not gonna explain how to do this...you're an adult, you should know how by know). Let cool.
In an electric mixer, beat butter until pale and fluffy. Add cooled melted white chocolate. Mix to combine.
Add powdered sugar to taste. It will be very sweet, so add in 1/2 cup increments to taste. Add vanilla and milk if it seems to thick.
Frost cupcakes and decorate with sprinkles.

Strike a #Pose

2011-12-19T08:30:00.000-05:00

{Zara blazer, Stylemint Newbury tee, 7 for All Mankind jeans,
Jeffrey Campbell wedges, Kate Spade iPhone case}

Because I consider all of you an extension of myself, I imagine that, like me, you'd want to stay abreast of the biggest trends in all things social media/popularity. With that, I bring you Pose, a free app that takes a Narcissistic interest in fashion to a whole.nuther.level. It's basically Instagram for style. I've been obsessedies with it since I got it a couple of weeks ago, and because I don't have the kind of boyfriend willing to go into work late just to take pictures of my adorable outfits for my blog (rude, right?), I rely on Pose to bring the latest and greatest of my wardrobe to all of my fans*. And if you're not already using it, I thought I'd round up a few of my favorite looks.

If you download Pose, you can follow me as "cupcakesomg".
*At a Christmas party this weekend, I was speaking with a friend of mine about giving a name to my CupcakesOMG! readers/fans, not unlike Lady Gaga has bequeathed the name "Little Monsters" to hers. I'm currently accepting ideas, so if you've got a good one, leave it in the comments!

{H&M hat, Express sweater, Express jeans, Foley + Corinna bag, Sam Edelman heels}

{Zara sweater, Express jeans, Sam Edelman heels}

White Paper Packages Tied Up in Bling

2011-12-16T00:22:00.000-05:00

{Step 1: Cut your shapes from glitter paper and buy Glue dots. Step 2: Adhere glue dots to "stickers".
Step 3: Stick those stickers all over your present to your heart's content.}

You know how they say "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?" Yeah, well that's all crap. Imitation is the sincerest form of being unoriginal. But originality doesn't really matter when you're copying something that's pretty. It just...doesn't.

Take for instance the beautiful Christmas paper you see above/below. A few months ago, I found this artwork (which, incidentally, is a copy of some Kate Spade dishes), and decided to make my own Christmas wrapping paper in its form. Because, it's like I always say: "what's on the inside counts, but it's what's on the outside that MATTERS." (It's true for people and presents.)

So, armed with my one-dimensional vanity and a zest for Christmas rivaled only by the Target lady, I got to work on the project. The whole thing was pretty easy, save for the part where I had to cut out my own "stickers," but just like beauty, Christmas is pain.

You'll Need:

White wrapping paper (I bought four rolls because they were fairly small--from Papyrus)
Decorative paper (gold glitter, gold metallic, white glitter--all from A.C. Moore)
Scrapbook circle punch
Glue dots
Your imagination
An appreciation for beauty

It's pretty simple, really. Just cut out a punch of dots, put the glue dots on the back, and then place wherever you like on your wrapped gift.

I did an overlay scale design on this one, which was clearly my favorite.

I did a heavy concentration in the upper corner on this one, and let it disippate across the package.

For extra punch, I tied a couple of the larger packages with wired, glittery red ribbon.

It's probably the best wrapping anyone has ever done in the history of time.

Has anyone else ever ~~ripped off~~ designed their own wrapping paper before? Have you even wrapped your presents yet?? Why doesn't Target air crazy Target lady commercials year round????

A Comment About Comments

2011-12-15T09:00:00.000-05:00

I don't think I'm out of line to speak on behalf of every single blogger of all time when I say, getting comments on my blog posts literally makes my life. It tells me that you're here and you're compelled to interact with me, probably in thanks to my never-ending supply of charm and self-involvement. Or for your own blog promotion. Look, I don't care what your motivation is, all I want to say is that I love it.

However--and stay with me here--there are way too many of you to count who are pissing me straight off!

Many of you will leave a comment with a question or a funny remark or just a great compliment about my beauty, to which I'd love to respond back, but I can't. Why not? Because you're not leaving an email for me to do so. And it just killsssssssssssssssssssss me!!

Sure, I might have a link to your blog in the comment, and I might even visit your blog (which I do quite often), but I'm ~~probably~~ definitely not gonna seek out your email from there to write you back. I got stuff to do! Instead, I hit "reply" to the email your comment comes to me as and am either able to write you back directly or am met with some no-reply Blogger email that will be sent into a great abyss, never to be seen or heard from again, like Lindsay Lohan's career.

I'm not suggesting you put your email address in the comment itself (what are you, a n00b?). It's an easy fix, really. If you have a Blogger or Google account, all you have to do is include your email account on your profile page. Not sure if you've done this? Just check out your blogger profile and see if it says "Email" underneath your picture, like so:

If not, then update it. No, really, it IS that simple!

I swear, if you start doing this, I will write you back so hard. It will totally be worth it. Think of it as your own custom blog post. What's NOT to love, am I right?

The Washington Ballet's "The Nutcracker" (and Why Dressing for the Theatre Matters)

2011-12-14T16:30:00.000-05:00

{BCBG dress, H&M blazer, Sam Edelman heels, Michael Kors watch}

Because it's Christmastime and I'm classy and junk, Kyle and I went to The Washington Ballet's "The Nutcracker" last weekend. That's right people, I'm about to review a ballet--shit just got real.

First of all, take a moment to appreciate my adorable ensemble. In a slight "tip of my hat" to the ballerinas, my dress has just a peek of tulle at the bottom and I wore my hair high on my head. A bun would have been too literal, so I opted for a pony tail instead.

And I looked amazing. The same can not be said of other people.

What happened to getting dressed for the theatre? Look, I think society has allowed us to come pret-tay far when it comes to looking like you've just given up nowadays compared to times long passed (i.e., flying, church, work), but I don't care who you are, yoga pants are NOT welcome at the theatre. <--Do you see the way I'm even spelling the word? You probably should dress up just to read it!

Did you pay more than $50 for a ticket? Did someone hand you a playbill? Is someone wearing a costume on a stage?? Do the words on the building outside include "theatre"??? "Then why the crap are you wearing yoga pants and sneakers??" I wanted to ask the woman who strolled in mere minutes before the show started.

I know some of you might try to run to her defense in your comfortable rubber-soled footwear, but I don't care what the excuse is: she came straight from work, she's gained/lost a few pounds and can't find anything that fits, etc. My answer to all of these things? Plan better! I don't care if she wears her comfy clothes to Target or some children's sports game or something else equally depressing. I do, however, care that she have respect for the only place that truly asks patrons to dress up a little. Shit, she could have just swapped the sneakers for a pair of heels--I mean, Iiiiiiiiiiii probably wouldn't have been fooled by the pants, but I'm sure plenty others would have been. The point I'm making is this: the ballerinas you see on the stage twirling and pas de deux-ing in their point shoes and emaciated dancer bodies are in no way "comfortable." Why should you be?

End rant.

As for the ballet itself, it was amazing. Initially, I was concerned with the sheer volume of children in the show. I've seen a couple renditions of The Nutcracker in my day, so I'm well aware there are several, and in some cases many, children in the production, but this just had a lot. The first half moved a bit slow, but the kids had pretty good direction to be cute and entertaining, despite their lack of dance experience. Finally, the Snow Queen came on and that's where things started to pick up.

{The lobby, complete with tulle-lined awnings and signed ballet slippers}

I've never personally taken ballet, but I have seen Black Swan, so I'm pretty sure that makes me an expert on technique. That said, the dancing was beautiful. The choreography was also quite different, with what felt like fewer solo numbers and more giggle-worthy moments, but clean and graceful nevertheless.

Perhaps the most unusual part of the entire ballet was the extremely erotic rendition of the Arabian Dance. Usually, these dancers look like Aladdin and Jasmin, but these looked more like Pochohantas and Tarzan. And good god, was it sexual! I didn't mind, but I'm guessing a few parents in the audience might have had to explain to their kids where babies come from following the performance.

So yeah, the choreography and the dancers were beautiful, the sets were gorgeous, and the interpretation was new and fresh. Even Kyle enjoyed himself, albeit only into the second act. And mostly because of the kids dressed as mice and frogs and other woodland creatures sitting on the side of the stage being silly. But hey, at least he wasn't wearing yoga pants!

How to Host Out of Town Visitors

2011-12-12T22:12:00.000-05:00

{Obligatory blogger shot at a farmer's market}

Normally, Tuesday posts are reserved for the often imitated, never duplicated (it's probably true) TwoFaced recipe series, in which The Paleo Project and I take one shared ingredient and whip up our own paleo masterpiece. But not today. Instead, I bring you photographic evidence as to why there was no paleo cooking or baking this week (spoiler alert: it involves alcohol and non-paleo food).

You see, continuing our blog BFF adventures, Jenna came down this weekend ~~just to visit me~~ for Blogger Blitz DC and stayed at the CupcakesOMG! abode. I don't know if it was the making her sleep on my couch part, force feeding her carbohydrates, or missing out on basically any and all D.C. sightseeing, but at some point this weekend, I realized I was a terrible hostess. I'm hoping that some of our new inside jokes and a rare glimpse into life with Kyle made the visit totally worth it for her, otherwise, this.is.awkward.

{First stop of the trip--a house of chocolate!}

{Peanut Butter Hot Chocolate with a homemade marshmallow. I mean, have you even HAD
a homemade marshmallow? It's like the angels were sitting around one day and all "let's make
the most delicious treat of all time" and then the prettiest of the angels took the lightest of the
sweetest clouds and dropped it down to Earth in little bite-sized squares. The end.}

Following a busy day of eating, shopping, and the watching half of The Help on OnDemand, we decided we should venture out for more eating and a lot more drinking.

{Kyle joined up with us at dinner and picked up the tab. He's a regular sugar daddy!}

{I do like to enjoy a beer through a straw sometimes, yes. This, however is plain ridiculous,
but for what it's worth, I was trying to play them like a harmonica. I don't even know
HOW to play the harmonica, btw.}

Jenna's second/last day in D.C. included brunch at Liberty Tavern, which happens to have one of the best brunch buffets in all the land. It also makes for great posing opportunities.

{Thank god we're eating again!!!}

{The one "monument" of sorts I let Jenna see--the fountain at Dupont Circle}

When's the last time you hosted a visitor? Do you cook for guests or do you go out?? Am I a bad hostess for not taking visitors to see the sights???

Bloggin' Bout Bloggers

2011-12-12T21:02:00.000-05:00

{Me with Jenna from The Paleo Project, duh}

Typically, my Sunday nights involve yoga pants, glasses, and zero make-up, dreading another work week and watching "Once Upon a Time." P.S. Am I the only person watching this?? OMG, anyone who's watching it will you please let me know so we can talk about it so much???

So when Jenna told me about the Blogger Blitz event in DC (held Sunday night), I was hesitant to not only meet new people, but to also be taken away from my usual Sunday routine that could easily be mistaken for that of an anti-depressant-addicted, mild-aged divorcee with three too many cats.

Color me pleasantly surprised when we ended up not only having a great time meeting other DC-area bloggers, but looking amazing whilst doing it!

{Zara sweater, H&M leggings, Sam Edelman pumps, Michael Kors watch}

{Jenna made this sweet ass gif, which I promptly stole}

And that concludes the "detail shots of my top" portion of our evening.

But interestingly, the evening wasn't only about the clothes. It was about meeting other bloggers. And not just the one who flew in from Boston to stay with me (more on that later this week). It was here I met Whitney of Cheerios and Beer, a hilarious read and my new blog-turned-real-life-friend. We're getting dinner tomorrow, NBD.

{Jenna and Whitney--but then, you already knew that from the nametags, didn't you?}

And I also met Megan, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Zooey Deschanel. We may or may not have sung an inappropriate amount of "Who's that girrrrrrrrl's?"

{Me and who's-that-girl-it's-Megan...of Freckled Italian}

And then there was Ashlyn who is cute as a button and just as sweet as can be.

{Jenna and Ashlyn}

And then there was Alison, who put the whole incredible event together.

{Jenna and Alison}

There was a whole room of other bloggers I didn't get to spend as much/any time with, but I don't think I'm out of line when I say the whole thing was something of a success and we'll all likely reconvene another time.

And now for the obligatory CupcakesOMG! and Paleo Project shots:

What does YOUR Sunday routine consist of?? Do you watch "Once Upon a Time"? Do you even know what it is???

Things I Bought That I Love, And Other Things I Want to Copy From Mindy Kaling

2011-12-07T23:24:00.000-05:00

{Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns, Mindy Kaling}

When I identify someone I deem to be the [fill in the blank adjective here] version of me, I immediately make up elaborate stories in my mind about what great friends we would be.

Case in point: Oh, Chelsea Handler? She's like the alcoholic version of me. We're great friends because we like to retell stories from our childhood using superfluous profanity and embellished "truths." Lady Gaga? She's totally the musically-gifted version of me. We're really close because we share a love of glitter, acting like models, and gays. (I could say the same thing about RuPaul.)

So, when I learned that Mindy Kaling was writing a book called "Is Everything Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns" I was obviously all like "holy hell! She IS me!!!" I mean, a quick look at the book jacket tells you pretty much everything you're in for inside: pink, a pensiveness that could be mistaken for insecurity, and a reference to Toddlers & Tiaras. I'm sorry, have we met??

As I read page 143, I literally dogeared it, it was so me. Like, physically, folded the upper corner of the page over just for future reference, it was so dead on. It reads:

"The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!

I found my productive writing-to-screwing-around ratio to be one to seven. So, for every eight-hour day of writing, there is only one good productive hour of work being done. The other seven hours are preparing for writing: pacing around the house, collapsing cardboard boxes for recycling, reading the DVD extras pamphlet from the BBC Pride & Prejudice, getting snacks lined up for writing, and YouTubing toddlers who learned the 'Single Ladies' dance. I know. Isn't that horrible?"

Oh, did you forget you weren't reading my writing?? Yeah, I had the same reaction.

So for those of you who don't know who in the hell I'm gushing about yet, Mindy Kaling is a comedy writer, actress, and occassional girl group Subtle Sexuality member. Put simply, you probably know her best as superficial, ditzy customer service rep Kelly Kapoor from The Office.

What I like about Mindy's book (oh yeah, we're on a first name only basis) is its construction. While she follows something of a linear storyline, beginning with her awkward chubby years in high school crushing on a mean Sengalese boy named Duante Diallo, following her through her college years at Dartmouth where she meets two of her best and perhaps most defining friends, and finally her present day gig as a big time comedy writer, she tells her story in more of a short story, essay, or her own coined-term pleist (a piece with a list-y quality) kind of way. I also love the titles of each chapter. Do you ever notice the titles of my blog posts?? God, I hope I'm not pining over clever blog titles for 27 minutes-plus on average for no good reason. A title that encapsulates simultaneously what you're writing about and is also just obscure enough to further pique your interest is an art form in itself. "Revenge Fantasies While Jogging" and "Why Do Men Put Their Shoes on So Slowly" are personal favorites of mine.

Beyond all of that though, "Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me?" is just a fun read. I laughed basically every 4 and a half minutes. And when it was over? I'm fairly certain I shed a single tear. And then I suffered a temporary, but no less devastating, bout of depression. But the good news is, I can continue to get my Mindy-fix right on her own very blog "Things I Bought That I Love," which is exactly what it sounds like. So in the spirit of Mindy, I thought I'd share with you a thing I bought that I love: So Delicious Coconut Milk Egg Nog.

I have The Paleo Project to thank for this find, and you can be assured that we'll be enjoying a grotesque amount of this spiked with rum during her visit this weekend.

It's simple, really. It's delicious, it tastes like cow's milk egg nog, and when sprinkled with nutmeg, you'll be transported to a place and time where Christmas threw up.

So anyway, you should probably just buy the book. And then sip this stuff. And then weep and weep and weep when you've finished both.

Christmas Threw Up All Over My Apartment

2011-12-07T07:30:00.000-05:00

Like many of you, this past weekend I spent my time (and money) whipping our apartment into Christmas hell! In a good way, though. While there are plenty of other touches I haven't included (including the THREE bottles of Bath & Body Works hand soap--Peppermint Stick, Vanilla Bean Noel, and Winter Candy Apple, to be exact--for our TWO sinks), these are some of my favorite.

{Nothing says "Christmas" like noisy crap on the door!}

{The centerpiece I pulled together with these amazing boxes from Container Store}

{The cutest Kleenex box of all time and most adorable candle holder of at least the past decade.}

{Pink icicles on my all pink Christmas tree}

{Towels for decoration only. Kyle knows all too well these aren't for drying wet hands.}

What are your favorite ways to decorate for Christmas??

TwoFaced: Lamb

2011-12-06T07:30:00.000-05:00

Some people just know how to give credit where credit is due. After all, where would Christopher Columbus be without the native Americans? Lady Gaga without Isabella Blow? Mark Zuckerberg without the Winklevoss twins? And who could forget Milli Vanilli without those guys who really sang?!

Oh, wait. it would appear I'm looking at my "Assholes who Never Gave Anybody Any Credit" handbook. I'll just file this away under "things to remember for work."

What I guess I'm trying to get at is Kyle made this week's TwoFaced meal. I don't know if Jenna would consider this a form of cheating, but when your boyfriend offers to make dinner the same weekend you decide to deck your halls with Christmas and bake 100 cupcakes for your first paid cupcake catering gig (yeah, I do that now), you don't just take him up on the offer, you tell him that you will dedicate an entire blog post to his magical creation.

This weekend really felt like winter, which was about damn time since we went to pick up our adorably perfect Christmas tree! Growing up in Texas, I know first hand just how un-Christmas spirit-y it is to pick out a tree in shorts and flip flops. Needless to say, Kyle's idea to make sausage stew seemed a welcome addition to the weekend festivities.

Everything about this stew was perfection. Tons of veggies? Check. Delicious meat? Check. Sitting on your ass while someone else does the cooking? Check, check, and check!

Look, I don't know how well these pictures are conveying how delicious this stew actually was. Literally, it made probably 8 or 10 servings. We ate all of it in two days between the two of us. And we have access to other food!! Just...try it, would ya? And then come back here and tell me if you convinced your boyfriend to do the cooking.

Don't forget to check out The Paleo Project's take on lamb!

Sausage Stew
Makes about 8 hearty servings
Adapted from The Primal Blueprint

2 Quarts chicken or beef broth
1 yellow onion, diced
5-6 cloves minced garlic
2 celery ribs, diced
2 carrots, diced
1/2 head green cabbage, chopped
1 lb. Italian sausage
1 lb. lamb (I think we used leg or loin or something...I dunno, I didn't make it!), cut into bite sized pieces
1 small head cauliflower, chopped into bite size chunks
1 bunch swiss chard, chopped
salt and pepper to taste

1. Bring broth to a boil, add lamb. Turn down to a simmer and cook for 1 hour, uncovered.
2. Add onion, celery, carrots, and cabbage and simmer for another 20 minutes.
3. Meanwhile, cook the sausage chunks in a large skillet and brown for ten minutes. Add sausage to the stew pot with cauliflower, greens, and garlic and cook another 10 minutes, or until veggies and meats are tender. Add salt and pepper to taste.

That Time I Met "The Paleo Project"

2011-11-30T20:34:00.001-05:00

CupcakesOMG! Confessional: I hate meeting new people. It's not that I hate the people themselves (although there's always that possibility), it's just the experience of meeting new people that I hate. I mean, come on, you can't honestly tell me that getting past the social veneer so many people put up (i.e., walls and physical boundaries) to try and get some kind of glimpse into what they're all about and determine if what they're about aligns in some way to what you're about, thus opening some kind of gateway to, like, I dunno, lasting friendship, or whatever, is all sunshine and lollipops. That shit is NOT easy! It's full of trite "where did you grow up's" and "what kind of music do you like's" and the inevitable awkward moments where you run out of unoffensive yet cliche conversation topics, glance around the room, check your phone, take a sip of your Molson's and then make uncomfortable eye contact once more to ask something else really irrelevant like "so, how long have you known Lisa?" You totally want to invite me to your Christmas party now, right?

So it came as a complete surprise/relief to me when Jenna (of The Paleo Project fame) and I somehow skipped all that crap and just sort of became friends. It started when an old college friend of mine first introduced me to her blog last spring. Unlike far too many unfortunate bloggers out there, her writing was witty and focused. Her paleo recipes, entirely inspired. And her love of practicing poses in the mirror?? Well, that's how I knew we were destined to be friends. One comment on her blog led to a follow-back on Twitter, which led to a Facebook friending, which led to exchanging phone numbers, which led to a regularly featured joint blog post, which eventually led to a real life in-person meeting this week. A blind date of sorts, if you will. Will you?

I could have been nervous, but I actually wasn't. ~~Something~~ Our mutual obsessions with superficial groom habits and judging people told me we wouldn't be grasping for casual dinner conversation topics. From the moment I saw Jenna, with her long pretty hair, burnt sienna sheer-sleeved top, and adorable Michael Kors bag, I was all "omigod, I hope she loves me as much as I already love her!"

Oh, here's a fun fact: before we even hopped in the cab to Sibling Rivalry for dinner (the restaurant version of TwoFaced, more or less), we discovered that we share the same middle name. Dawn, for those of you wondering. I don't wanna sound like a dirty hippy or anything, but can you say fate??

I know what you're thinking "Enough with the girl crush love letter...get to the food already!" Okay, I'm sorry, it's just...do you know how exciting it is to click with someone so effortlessly? I don't wanna condone just taking up with random strangers or anything, but really, you should probably think about it.

Now, as for the food itself, Jenna and I both admitted we wouldn't be adhering to a strict paleo meal, as we found ourselves promptly ordering drinks at the bar. That said, we did end up naturally being drawn to some of the more paleo items on the menu. We started with the mussels in some kind of spicy coconut broth.

I learned that Jenna basically worhsips at the temple of Goat Cheesus, so she ordered the chicken with green beans and goat cheese.

I ordered the sirloin steak with, wouldn't ya know? Goat cheese mashed potatoes (and onion rings and creamed corn).

The truth is, I can't really even weigh in on how the food was because we just couldn't.stop.chatting. The night was, in a word, magical. More importantly, I didn't have to ask a single question about the kind of movies she likes (but I'm guessing they're all the sames ones I like).

Do you think it would look really desperate of me to call her first??

TwoFaced: Kale

2011-11-29T07:30:00.000-05:00

Kale intimidates me for some reason. I can't exactly verbalize why. I mean, I've been venturing into new leafy green territory over the past year (swiss chard has become a personal favorite), but kale continues to mystify me.

You know what doesn't intimidate me? Becoming internet friends with another paleo-minded blogger living hundreds of miles away. Becoming Facebook friends with and Twitter follower of that very blogger. Exchanging phone numbers and texts with that basically stranger of a blogger. Even less intimidating? Meeting her in person. Tonight. For dinner at the restaurant version of our TwoFaced feature!!

But back to what does intimidate me. Kale. When Jenna and I chose it as our ingredient for this week's TwoFaced, I looked at it as a prime opportunity to bounce back from the several days of Thanksgiving gluttony I subjected myself to. I figured my strategy to just pick a recipe and make it happen was the best way to mitigate the kale intimidation factor, so I decided to make chicken roulade with kale and feta.

**I'm pretty sure no other blogger in the history of blogging has done this, but it appears as though some of my chicken wasn't cooked all the way through. Please note that I nuked these for a couple of minutes before eating. You should probably just cook your chicken longer.

In the end, kale wasn't as intimidating as it first seemed. It's actually a lot like cooking swiss chard, but tastes more like spinach. Paired with salty feta and tucked inside juicy chicken thighs, it makes a pretty delicious meal to bounce back from all that damage you did last Thursday.

And now I'm off to meet my internet friend in a strange city where I don't know anyone, said the girl who thought kale was scary.

Make sure you check out Jenna's kale concoction!

Chicken Roulade with Kale and Feta

Makes about 4 servings

1 package boneless, skinless chicken thighs (you could also use chicken breast)
3 cups chopped kale
1/2 red onion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup crumbled feta

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a large pan, saute onion and garlic in a Tbsp of olive oil over medium heat until onions are translucent. Add kale. Saute for several more minutes, until kale wilts.

3. Move kale to a large bowl. Add feta and mix well.

4. On a clean surface, lay chicken thighs out flat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Spoon kale mixture onto each chicken thigh.

5. Starting with the smaller edge, roll up the chicken (mine didn't exactly role as much as they folded into a taco, but whatevs). Use toothpicks to hold the chicken into shape. You might use 3-4 toothpicks per chicken thigh depending on how full you stuff them.

6. Drizzle olive oil in a pan and brown all sides of each rolled chicken thigh.

7. Move chicken to the oven to finish cooking through, between 10-15 minutes, or until the juices run clear.

Go Naked

2011-11-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

You know that expression where people say "I feel naked without my (fill in the blank)?" Well for me, there are many blanks. I feel naked without my watch, my iPhone, and my clothes, duh. But mostly, I feel naked without my make-up.

Since the age of 11, when my mom gave me permission to wear mascara, blush, and lip gloss, I've been obsessed with making myself be the prettiest me I can be! So, despite my love of the whore's paint and the aforementioned nakedness I feel without it, I've only now discovered the many virtues of Urban Decay's cult favorite Naked palette.

Featuring 12 universally flattering shades of matte, shimmer, and glitter eyeshadows, the naked palette is the cure to whatever eye make-up needs ail ya! Plus, at $48 (including a great brush and sample size shadow primer), it's a much more affordable way to try out a dozen of the brand's amazing line of shadows.

I gave it a trial run on Thanksgiving last week. Generally, I swipe something nude and shimmery all over my lid and then do a matte chestnut color in the crease, but I did something a little more special for the holiday.

I started by swiping the lightest color Virgin all over my lid. Then, I put a healthy dose of the bronzey Half Baked on just my lower lid. Finally, I contoured my crease using the rich shimmery brown Smog, creating a very subtle, daytime brown smokey kind of eye. And of course I topped this all off with a heavy stroke of black liquid liner and far too many coats of mascara (in a good way).

So far, I'm more than pleased with the palette. The colors stay rich for a good long time and there are so many shades that I don't own anything like, yet are entirely wearable.

Who else is getting Naked?? I need color combo ideas. What works for you??

Shabby Apple Giveaway Winner

2011-11-27T17:37:00.001-05:00

Congratulations are in order for Lisa, the winner of the Shabby Apple necklace giveaway!!

Lisa left the 22nd comment and has snagged herself this adorable necklace.

Lisa, please check your email for a note from me. Happy early Christmas to you!!!

Christmas Shopping for Him (and You)

2011-11-23T08:30:00.000-05:00

Christmas shopping for a boyfriend can be stressful. How many polo shirts does one person need? Will he really ever use this rotating tie rack? Does anyone understand why Brookstone is still in business??? I've asked myself all these questions and lived to tell the tale. Here, I've provided you with some insight into great boyfriend gift ideas for him and for you.

1.) Ugg's Ascot slippers, $100 - You know those nasty socks with the holes in 'em that your boyfriend REFUSES to throw out for some reason, clinging to them for deal life like they're the last item of clothing on Earth designed to keep their feet warm? Yeah, these are the perfect replacement for those.

Good for him because: He'll stay warm and comfy.

Good for you because: You don't have to keep asking "is that your socks I smell??"

2.) Steve Jobs biography, $19.25 - You can say a lot of things about Steve Jobs. In fact, Walter Isaacson did just that in about a gagillion pages!!! Give your guy the gift of the written word this year. And when you're doing making him read the entirety of CupcakesOMG!, give him this book.

Good for him because: It will encourage him to get his prostate checked on the reg!

Good for you because: It will free up the TV so you can catch up on this season of RHOBH.

3.) Koostik walnut iPhone sound dock, $90 - This non-electric sound dock made entirely of solid wood amplifies the iPhone's volume output by 4 times...enough to get a better sound than from the phone itself, but not enough to piss off the neighbors. Plus, it looks super cool.

Good for him because: He can finally listen to Metallica the way it was meant to be heard--through wood!

Good for you because: When I figure out why hearing Metallica coming from a piece of wood is a good thing for you, I'll let you know.

4.) Keihls Ultimate Man Soap, $13 - I get my dad several bars of this every Christmas. He loves the stuff because a.) guys love bar soap, 2.) it smells just faintly or citrus, and c.) it has real pieces of oatmeal, adding enough roughness to make a guy forget he's actually exfoliating.

Good for him because: Hey, a guy's gotta shower!

Good for you because: You won't have to work as hard to convince him to shower!

5.) Keurig Home Brewing System, $149.99 - Earlier this year, coffee czar Starbucks switched single-cup brewing system alliances, leaving Tassimo in favor of Keurig. Anyone who thinks the best part of waking up is delicious coffee in your cup would probably love one of these bad boys for their kitchen.

Good for him because: He'll save money making his own coffee, freeing up valuable assets to take you out to a really, really, really, expensive dinner.

Good for you because: Even if you're not a coffee drinker, you can buy K-cups for hot tea, chai, and hot chocolate!

6.) Ray-Ban Aviators, $189 - I mean, let's get real: who doesn't love the classic aviator?? It's universally flattering and will universally turn guys into complete studs.

Good for him because: He can re-enact his favorite scenes from Top Gun for HOURS!!

Good for you because: You can totally borrow them!

7.) Kenneth Cole watch, $150 - I don't know when guys stopped wearing watches in favor of using their phone to tell time, but it's high time (ha HA!!) we got our men back into timepieces. This one is both classic and makes a statement at a very affordable price.

Good for him because: When you ask him what time it is, he won't sound like such a hypocrite saying "time for you to get a watch! BOO-YAH!"

Good for you because: He will never be late again. And if he is, he has to buy you something pretty.

8.) Amazon Kindle, $79 - LeVar Burton once said "reading is fundamental." John Waters once said "If you go home with someone and they don't have books, don't fuck them." Whether you like your reading endorsement G- or X-rated, the point is, you should be doing it. Now that Kindles are so affordable, you have no choice!!

Good for him because: Reading is sexy and fundamental. But mostly sexy.

Good for you because: You'll look super smart when you hold it for him lounging by the pool. And then you can go back to reading Us Weekly.

9.) Polaroid Grey Label Instant Mobile Printer, $169.95 - We've become a society reliant upon servers, internet connections, and Facebook tags to review our most cherished, documented moments. This instant mobile printer makes it so easy to print photos from your iPhone and camera, he'll actually WANT to take pictures of you in your newest outfit for your blog!!

Good for him because: He can excuse his softer, sentimental side for an undying love all things nerdy.

Good for you because: "Full time live-in photo shoots, bitches!!!!"

TwoFaced: Maple Glazed Cinnamon Almonds

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

When Jenna and I were deciding on this week's TwoFaced ingredient, my only request was that it be the kind of thing I could turn into a quick, easy snack.

It's not that I'm lazy (not this time, anyway), but I'm on the road this week for work and then to see my family for Thanksgiving, so the last thing I needed was a ton of leftover paleo enchiladas or some other delicious brainchild of mine rotting in the refrigerator. Instead, I wanted to make something I could easily take on the road to curb those "I'm travelling so the calories in this soft pretzel/sub sandwich/artery clogging guilty pleasure of choice don't count" cravings.

Jenna and I chose almonds for this week's TwoFaced venture, so it was pretty obvious what I had to make. This time of year always reminds me of my mom's cinnamon sugar pecans. She makes huge batches of them and gives them out as Christmas treats. They're sweet and crunchy and delicious and not at all paleo. So, as I'm wont to do with my mom's recipes, I decided to doctor it up into something more paleo friendly.

This whole recipe only took about 3 minutes to put together. It literally took the oven longer to preheat than it did to whip these up! For paleo-friendly sweetness, I used maple syrup to coat the almonds. For a seasonal taste, I added a few teaspoons of cinnamon, but you could also use pumpkin pie spice.

When they come out of the oven, you'll have a few of these great brittle-like chunks. You could break them up into individual almonds, but what in the hell would you do that??

For more paleo culinary genius featuring the almighty almond, check out The Paleo Project!

Maple Glazed Cinnamon Almonds
Makes a lot

1 bag of roasted, unsalted almonds (the roasted almonds have more flavor, but if you buy unroasted almonds, you can toast them in a dry pan for a few minutes until they're fragrant)
2 Tbsp. good maple syrup
2 tsp. cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice
pinch of sea salt (optional)

1.) Preheat your oven to 300 degrees F. Line a cookie sheet with foil or parchment paper.

2.) In a bowl, combine almonds, maple syrup and cinnamon. Using a silicon spatula, mix until the almonds are well coated. Taste the almonds and add more cinnamon if you like.

3.) Spread almonds onto foil-lined cookie sheet into an even layer. Sprinkle with a pinch of sea salt if you like. Roast in the oven for about 20 minutes, stirring about halfway through.

4.) Allow almonds to cool for about 5 minutes before breaking into pieces.

Stars Are Blind

2011-11-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

{Nasty Gal jacket, 7 for All Mankind jeans, Michael Kors watch,

Express Bangle, Jeffrey Campbell wedges}

Let me just start by saying I don't know how fashion-only bloggers do it. I don't mean the immaculate grooming and the impeccable styling, because obviously I have that down PAT! Specifically, I don't know how they can convince someone with such regularity to put up with their vanity and controlling ways to get a collection of gorgeous and professional-grade photos...or maybe that's just me. I also wonder how they find the most amazing backdrops for their pictures. Perhaps I've been living in the wrong neighborhoods, but the truth is I have no idea where the nearest graffiiti wall is, nor do I frequent any type of flea market that oozes anything other than a desire to take a shower. Not to mention how they have enough time in the week to take three or four sets of these pictures in the DAYTIME!! Do these people have full-time jobs?? Do they live somewhere like Arizona or Indiana where daylight savings time doesn't exist? (haha, jk, no one fashionable lives in Arizona or Indiana!!)

What I'm getting at is this: I want to do more outfit posts for all of you, really I do, but in an effort to salvage my relationship with Kyle and avoid unleashing my Joan Crawford-worthy diva demands (is asking for an iced tea with no ice too much??), I can only do them sporadically, or when I have something I feel like I HAVE to show off. Cue my new starry cropped jacket and Jeffrey Campbell Audrey wedges.

With the colder weather still struggling to make up its mind whether it wants to hang out with D.C. or not, layering has been key in the last few weeks. It's not so much that this jacket would even keep me warm as much as it's that I just need to justify the reason I keep spending money. But I mean, c'mON! How adorable is its elongated front and cropped back?!

Ever since my favorite Sam Edelman shoes died on me (and are no longer available anywhere!), I had been looking for an alternative nude shoe that would give me a lot of height. Is there any questions as to whether these 6" JC's fit the bill??

I call this picture "Standing, in repose":

I looked so amazing, that I had to check my pulse just to make sure I didn't pass out from being so effing adorable:

For those of you who do manage to get up more than one outfit post up every three months, please leave me all your best secrets and magic tricks in the comments!

Dear Santa, All of These

2011-11-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

As we discussed yesterday, Christmas is fast approaching, and because I'm a greedy, materialistic woman of the '90s, I can't help but let my mind wander around all the visions of sugarplums, silk, and sequins dancing in my head. If you're surprised by my love of all things gold and sparkly, then allow me to introduce myself: Hi, I'm Melissa and I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee golddddddddddd! But I also love woodsy scents, classic shaped tops, bright nail colors, and, duh, cupcakes! What's on your Christmas list this year?

1. UGG classic short sparkle boot, $170

2. Diptyque Feu de Bois candle, $60

3. Freshly Picked gold mousepad, $25

4. J.Crew Wynter sequin sweater, $118

5. Equipment signature blouse, $208

6. Tom Ford polish is Ginger Fire, $30

7. Noir Barbie shoe charm necklace, $55

8. The Cupcake Diaries, $23.99

9. Barney's Python 2012 pocket datebook, $36

Shabby Apple Giveaway

2011-11-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about Christmas.

I know, I know...everyone's really big on letting Thanksgiving shine this year, which I guess I get. I mean, Thanksgiving is like the middle child of holidays, squashed right between cool, rebellious, oldest child Halloween and everyone's favorite, attention stealing, youngest child Christmas.

But I'm totes down with this whole "hey, let's give Thanksgiving it's just desserts" concept, so long as it doesn't delay my routine of spending way too much money on Christmas presents (many of which will be for myself). In an effort to keep your wallet just as full as your belly this Thanksgiving, I want to help you get your Christmas shopping underway with another giveaway!!!

This time, I'm partnering up with Shabby Apple, an amazing site with vintage-inspired clothes, like this dress (I'd wear it to work), this skirt (I'd wear it on New Year's!), and these shoes (which I'd pair with knee-high socks).

In honor of all the turkeys that will be slathered in gravy this Thanksgiving, I've hand selected this gorgeous gold feather necklace to give away to one very lucky CupcakesOMG! reader!!**

This would make a fabulous gift for your mom, sister, best friend, or, let's get real--yourself. So, do you want it? Of course you do!

First, you must 'Like' Shabby Apple on Facebook

Then, leave a comment telling me you did so, who you're giving the necklace
to (it's okay to say yourself!) and a contact email so I can contact you about redeeming the goods!

But wait...there's more!! You can up your chances of winning with another FOUR ways to enter!

- Follow CupcakesOMG! on Google Friend Connect on the right side of the page

-Follow CupcakesOMG! on Bloglovin'

-Follow me on Twitter

-Tweet about this giveaway

Leave an additional comment for each entry, and don't forget the email address!!

Giveaway will end Friday, November 25th at 12 PM EST.

**Sorry, the giveaway is only open to US residents.
Apologies to my international fans, but in the meantime hola, bonjour, and guten tag!

Things You Do With Your New iPhone

2011-11-16T07:30:00.000-05:00

You take pictures, duh. Amazing pictures with like, a 10 megapixel camera, or something...I dunno. I'm not pretending to be smart, here.

Specifically, I took pictures of:

The perfect shade of rose gold polish--the holiday season's answer to neutral nails.
(Sephora by OPI in Chest-nuts About You)

Fall, falling.

Tulips that don't seem to realize fall has fallen (see above).

My new favorite "everyday" work pumps.

Who else got a new iPhone? What are you enjoying best about it? Instant photo uploads to Twitter? The apps? Screwing with Siri???

TwoFaced: Paleo Coconut Banana Pancakes

2011-11-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

My mom has a YouTube channel, did you know that? Our need to share tutorials, recipes, hobbies, and our entire selves with the internet must run in the gene pool. I'm telling you this not only to generate more views on her channel, but to also serve as a prologue to today's TwoFaced challenge recipe.

My mom lives with a gluten allergy which means she abstains from a lot of the same things I do as a Paleo enthusiast, but that doesn't stop her from getting creative in the kitchen. A couple months ago, she posted this recipe for an Egg White Oatmeal pancake. Looks good, right? I realized that with one small tweak (leaving out the oat flour and replacing with more almond flour), I could open a litany of paleo pancake possibilities. To kick things off, I wanted to feature our TwoFaced secret ingredient, coconut. Thus, I present to you, Paleo Coconut Banana Pancakes. Cue the Jack Johnson music:

Making them even more irresistible, I topped them with coconut whipped cream, coconut flakes, and sliced banana, natch, though to be honest, they're just as good served naked.

These were so fegging delicious...and I'm not just saying that because it's (a variation of) my mom's recipe. Unlike other paleo pancake recipes I've tried, these cook and taste like the real thing. Another perk? They reheat pretty well too, so you can make a butt-load of 'em and refrigerate them for the next morning's breakfast. Or if you eat your feelings, a late night snack binge.

These pancakes will definitely make you feel like you've hit the Motherload. <--See what I did there??? Eh???

When you're done looking at my food porn, check out what coconut concoction Jenna dreamed up!

Paleo Coconut Banana Pancakes

Makes about 8 silver dollar pancakes

See the video here

1/3 cup egg whites
2 tbsp. maple syrup
4 tbsp. almond flour
2 tbsp. unsweetened shredded coconut
1/2 mashed banana
coconut oil

1.) Using an electric whisk, beat egg whites and maple syrup into medium-stiff peaks, probably about 3-5 minutes.

2.) Add remaining ingredients to egg whites and beat just enough to combine.

3.) In a large pan, heat enough coconut oil to cover the pan. Using an ice cream scoop, spoon batter into pan. Cook pancake on each side for about 4 minutes.

4.) Serve with coconut whipped cream, sliced banana, and maple syrup.

Look at My Pretty Hair

2011-11-09T21:30:00.003-05:00

You know how people use certain physical descriptions to describe someone? Like, "my coworker with the wonky eye?" or "my cousin who used to be fat, but then lost a lot of weight taking illegal fat burning pills from Mexico, got hospitalized and then got fat again?" Well, when people talk about me, I have no clue what they say verbatim, but I imagine it goes something like "my friend Melissa, who's gorgeous, funny, and has red hair." In fact, my friend Laura, with the cute bangs and great shoes, even told me she's described me in this manner. Well, the red hair part at least. I'm sure she's thrown in her own words of flattery. RIGHT, LAURA?!?!?

Anyway, I'm known for my red hair and I take the responsibility of red-head-ambassador-ship very seriously, which is why when I find someone who can give me the color I want, I'm incredibly loyal to them. Like a dog. Like a very chic, bitchy dog. So I surprised myself last week when I became disloyal to the colorist I've been seeing for the past two years to go see a new one at Hela Salon & Spa.

His name is Ian McCabe, and let's just say he's a miracle worker. The Anne Sullivan to even the most Helen Keller of hair follicles. The man is, by his own admission, obsessed with hair. At the age of 24, he's already made a name for himself in the world of hair color. And, just my luck, he's especially obsessdies with red heads. I've been coloring my hair for over a decade, and Ian used techniques I'd never seen before. It wouldn't be untrue to say he gave me the best hair wash ever, and after all my bitching about never getting a salon perfect blowout, I'd be remiss to not to mention the impeccable blow out he did.

Not a single hot tool touched this hair, ladies and gents.

So why do I dedicate an entire post to my hair color? Because this is my blog, dammit!! But the truth is, if you live in the D.C. metro area, and you want your friends to refer to you as the girl with "amazing hair", then you have to go see Ian. Tell him the girl with the red hair sent you.

Ian McCabe

Master Colorist, Color Educator

Ian.Mccabe@helabeauty.com

301.951.4445

Two Faced: Bacon Meatballs

2011-11-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

Having featured a vegetable and a fruit in our previous Two Faced posts, Jenna and I decided to tackle pork this week. After all, meat is the axis upon which the paleo world turns. And if meat is the axis, bacon is the gravity. Or something. Look, what I'm getting at is that I made bacon meatballs this week. Yeah, meatballs, which are already delicious, filled with the king of all meat, bacon. It's like, meta-meatball.

I did the most obvious thing you could do with meatballs and ate them on spaghetti.

Well, technically, it was spaghetti squash. This IS supposed to be a paleo recipe, after all.

Oh, and to keep it extra paleo, I made my own marinara (with mushrooms). Watch out for those bottled marinaras...they can be loaded with sugar.

Then again, if you don't give a crap what you're putting into your body, you could stuff these into a loaf of french bread and cover them with provolone, because god knows that would be delicious!! I know, I know. I'm a TERRIBLE paleo-pusher blogger. This whole "Two Faced" concept is taking on a whole new meaning.

Here's hoping Jenna does a better job of properly motivating her readers.

Bacon Meatballs

Makes about 24 large meatballs

1 package good quality bacon
1 pound ground sausage
1 pound ground beef (preferably grass-fed)
1 egg, beaten
2 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder
a pinch of salt and pepper

1.) Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2.) Chop bacon into two inch chunks. Chop fine in a food processor. It should be pulsed into the size of grains of rice.

3.) In a large bowl, combine ground bacon, sausage, beef, egg and spices really well with your hands.

4.) Shape meatballs into large ping-pong-sized balls.

5.) In a large frying pan (with no added oil), brown meatballs on all sides in batches of of 4-6 at a time (or however many your pan holds). Remove from pan and transfer to a foil or parchment-lined baking sheet.

6.) When all the meatballs have been browned and placed on the baking sheet, finish in the pre-heated oven for about 10 minutes.

7.) Serve over spaghetti squash with you favorite marina and garnish with basil.

StyleMint Giveaway Winner!

2011-11-07T16:16:00.000-05:00

Last week, I bestowed a great opportunity upon each of you: the chance to win free shit. But not just any free shit. A free tee from Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's new line of tees, StyleMint. But like Lindsay Lohan's latest stint in jail, all good things must come to an end. But with the end of this giveaway comes a winner. Using the latest giveaway-winner-deciding technology (i.e., Random.org), the winner is...

...Annalilly!!

And yours as well, Annalilly. Yours as well.

Thank you everyone who participated in this giveaway. And even though you are a loser now (except you're a winner in my eyes for reading CupcakesOMG!), check back often, as I'm planning to do another giveaway soon!

Annalilly, please send me an email to claim your prize!!

HIWWI: Winter Kate Moonbeam Shirt

2011-11-03T13:07:00.000-04:00

{Winter Kate Moonbeam top, $285}

Look at this top.

Now, watch this clip (you can start watching at 6:39 if you don't wanna watch the whole thing--but you SHOULD!):

You see where I'm going with this, right? If you guessed "homage to Jennifer Connelly's puffy pirate shirt from the Labyrinth," you are correct. I also would have accepted "homage to David Bowie's puffy pirate shirt from the Labyrinth" and "I EFFING LOVE THE LABYRINTH" as correct answers.

As a child of the '80s, a mild obsession with the Labyrinth was like, mandatory. Besides, what's not to love about this movie? Glitter everything, crystal balls, David Bowie music, intentional cupping of David Bowie's crotch...it's a smorgasbord of merriment! So anyway, when I saw this Winter Kate top, I couldn't help but squeal with girlish delight over the chance to put together my own Labyrinth-inspired frock. Let's take a trip down sparkly, fantasy, over-indulgent lane, shall we?

First thing's first: the vest. It's pretty much rule numero uno that puffy pirate-sleeved shirts always be paired with a vest. To bring this look to the 21st century, I can't think of a better option than a fur vest:

{B.B. Dakota fur vest, $57}

Obviously, we're gonna need a tight, dangerously close to camel-toe-inducing pants (ya know, to get that authentic Bowie feel), so naturally these have to happen:

{Express sequin legging, $98}

Since ~~we're gonna be running all around the Goblin King's maze of a front yard to get our literal baby brother back~~ it's winter, this whole look needs to be rounded out with a closed toe boot. Would you be mad if I picked a matching sparkly one making it seem as though your legs, ankles and feet were just one, uninterripted stream of grey glitter? No?? Okay, great:

{Topshop boot, $160}

At this point, I would have free reign to burst into "Magic Dance" pretty much anywhere I felt compelled, but you could also top this look off with a hat, sparkly nails, kooky shades, and a crystal ball. I'm obviously just going for subtlety here, people.

How do you feel about this Labyrinth-inspired look? Would YOU wear this top this way?? HAVE YOU ENTERED MY STYLEMINT GIVEAWAY??? Tell me everything in the comments.

StyleMint Giveaway

2011-11-02T12:22:00.000-04:00

I have never been a casual person. I started wearing heels at an earlier age than Suri Cruise. Sometimes I speak in an English accent, just to be more formal. And even on the coldest days of final exam week in college, you wouldn't find me in a pair of sweatpants or, worse, without a full face of make up on. So, it goes without saying, I've never been much of a t-shirt person. That is, until, I discovered StyleMint.

StyleMint is the new t-shirt line from fashion icons/former Michelle Tanners, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I wonder if Ashley ever gets P.O'd that her name always comes last. Because I'm an equal opportunist (when it suits me), I shall now refer to the gals as Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. DONE! Anyway, the tiny twins have big dreams for the casual tee, which means even super special fancy people like myself are jumping on the bandwagon. Here is a list of reasons I'm currently obsessedies with the StyleMint line:

Every shirt is $29.99. I've paid more at a parking meter.
Free shipping both ways (not that you'd want to return anything).
StyleMint curates collections based on the results of your style quiz (per the video above). Unlike the pop quizzes my English teacher gave in high school, you can't fail!
Each style is featured in a 30 second video wherein the twinsies talk about why they designed it and how to style it.
The fabric is DIVINE. P.S. I'm using the word "divine" now. You're welcome.

{The Prince tee}

I just received my first StyleMint tee (the Prince style in navy) and have already decided I will never take it off. Until, of course, my second one--which is already en route--arrives.

In fact, I'm so in love with StyleMint that I'm going to be giving away a free tee to one lucky CupcakesOMG! reader!! You could have the Broadway, the Lincoln, the Pacific...whatever the eff you want!!! All you have to do is promise me your first born.

JUST KIDDING!! It's way easier than that, but probably no less degrading. All you have to do is leave a comment to enter...and there are three chances to enter (i.e., you can leave three comments).

You can qualify for an entry by:

-Following this blog via Google Friend Connect (on the right side of the page)

-Following me on Twitter
-Tweeting about this giveaway a la "@MHeraldo is giving away a free @StyleMint tee: http://ow.ly/7gMBd"

Then, leave me a comment PER ENTRY (so if you only do one of those things, you leave one comment, if you do two, you leave two, etc.). That's it, people. It's as easy as accusing Justin Bieber of being your baby daddy!! Good luck!

***Giveaway ends Monday, November 7th at noon EST. Winner will be announced in a separate blog post so check back then!***

TwoFaced: Pear Applesauce

2011-11-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Unlike Kim Kardashian's sham of a marriage, TwoFaced, the joint-venture between The Paleo Project and CupcakesOMG! is still going strong.

This week, we found inspiration from the delicate fall flavors of pear. Not unlike a sugar plum, visions of a paleo pear tart started to dance in my head, but after devouring my LIFE-CHANGING chocolate covered pumpkin cupcakes (entirely non-paleo, btw), I opted for something lighter, simpler, but still sweet. I am, after all, on a never-ending mission to create as many delicious, authentic paleo sweets as humanly possible. And with that, I decided to make pear applesauce.

So, clearly, you need pears. And in case you lack basic observation skills, you also need apples. It'll taste better if you get pretty ones. Swear.

My recipe calls for a heaping helping of cinnamon, a dash of ginger, and is sweetened by nature's nectar, maple syrup.

When I ran out of cupcakes, I started eating this like it was my J-O-B. Pear applesauce eater: insult or best.job.ever.????

You can eat this warm, right off the stove, like I did, or you can let it chill for a few hours in the refrigerator. You could also use this as a topping for pork, paleo pancakes, or coconut whipped cream. Or like, you could eat it on ice cream too. But don't tell anyone I said that.

Pear Applesauce
Makes about 3 cups

5 ripe pears (I used Comice)
3 apples (I used Honeycrisp)
Juice of 2 lemons
2 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 cup good maple syrup

1.) Peel and dice pears and apples into bite-sized chunks.

2.) Add pears and apples to a large pot. Stir in the juice of two lemons. Add enough water to pot to just barely cover the fruit.

3.) Bring pears and apples to a low boil, then turn down to a simmer. Cover fruit and simmer for about 35-40 minutes, or until it starts to thicken.

4.) Using a potato masher or a whisk, mash the mixture. If it seems watery, use a ladle to funnel out some of the liquid.

5.) Add spices and maple syrup and cook until pear applesauce reaches desired consistency.

Now, head on over to The Paleo Project to see what delicacy Jenna has whipped up!!

How to Win A Halloween Costume Contest

2011-10-31T19:09:00.000-04:00

Step 1: Pick a costume that hasn't been done a bajillion times before but that's still socially relevant.

I'm talking to you sexy nurse, sexy kitty cat, sexy police officer, and sexy generic slutty girl. Oh, and also Snooki...she likes pickles, we get it already!!! I chose Taralyn Eschberger from Toddlers & Tiaras fame. Oh, you've never heard of Taralyn specifically?? MY POINT EXACTLY!!!

Step 2: Become your costume.

Sure, I could have just slapped on some ruffle socks, fake eyelashes, a crown and called it a day, but that wouldn't make me a winner. That would make me a loser. And glitz pageant girls are WINNERS!!! I perfected my T-stance, my prissy walk, and most importantly, my "blow a kiss with one finger" face.

Step 3: Never break character.

When the bar announced that there was a costume contest, I expected to win, 'cus that's what winners do. That's what my mommy says! I never in a million years expected to NOT make the top 3! So when my name wasn't called for top 3, I did what any self-respecting toddler would do: I threw an epic hissy fit. It was both sincere and authentic. I stomped my feet, cried, and yelled for my mommy. And then I got added back into the contest.

And then I won. A hundred bucks to be exact.

Yes, in the words of Eden Wood, "I ROCKED THAT STAGE!!!!"

What did everyone else dress up as??? Did anyone else win a costume contest??

The Best Cupcakes I Ever Made

2011-10-30T22:22:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you realized this, but my blog title has the word "cupcake" in it, which basically means that everyone who knows me considers me an expert on all things cupcake. And I am. (I'm also an expert in judging people, nail painting, and posing in the mirror.) So it should go without saying that when I'm invited to a party, it's nearly sacrilege if I don't come bearing dozens of them. The Halloween party I attended this weekend was no exception.

Given the theme of the party, I knew I wanted to make pumpkin cupcakes, but I wanted them to be specialer (that's a word now) than your run of the mill cream cheese-frosted kind. So, I set out to make a chocolate covered pumpkin cupcake. Specifically, a pumpkin cupcake topped with a layer of milk chocolate ganache, brown sugar cream cheese frosting, and a sprinkle of pumpkin seeds. The result was EFFING DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!

So delicious, in fact, that I've eaten about four of them in the past 24 hours. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!!!

As much as these taste like fall, and, let's face it, look incredible, I also wanted bring something with a true Halloween-y vibe, so I also made these pumpkin rice krispie treats.

That is to say, pumpkin in appearance, not taste. Although, that's an idea...!

There's no real recipe here, just make rice krispie treats per directions on box. Add food coloring to the butter and marshmallow mixture (I used red and yellow to get the right shade of orange). Grease your hands well with Pam or butter and shape treats into tennis ball sized balls. Add a Tootsie Roll to the center (this is the stem), then pipe on green frosting for leaves and vines.

Chocolate-Covered Pumpkin Cupcakes

Makes about 36 cupcakes

Adapted from Boulder Locavore

3 ½ All purpose flour
2 ¾ teaspoon baking powder
¾ teaspoon baking soda
2 ¼ teaspoon salt
5 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
14 tablespoons butter, softened
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
2/3 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1 cup granulated sugar
4 eggs, room temperature
1 cup milk
1 2/3 cups pumpkin puree

1. Line cupcake pan with cupcake wrappers. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a mixing bowl combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, spices. Stir to mix ingredients.

3. With an electric mixer, beat butter on medium speed until creamy. Add brown sugars and granulated sugar; beat until light and fluffy (about 5 minutes). Scrape sides when needed. Add eggs one at a time and beat to incorporate before adding another egg.

4. Add 1/4 of the flour to the butter/sugar mixture and beat on low speed to incorporate. Add 1/3 cup of the milk, beat to incorporate. Repeat twice more, ending with the flour. Do not over beat.

5. Add the pumpkin puree and beat until incorporated. You might have to mix it by hand to ensure it well incorporated.

6. Spoon batter into cupcake tins; fill 2/3’s full. Bake 20-25 minutes until toothpick comes out clean.

7. When done, remove from oven, let cool in pan 15 minutes and remove to baking rack to complete cooling.

Brown Sugar Cream Cheese Frosting

8 oz. cream cheese
12 Tbsp. butter, room temperature
4-6 cups powdered sugar (depends on how sweet you like it)
1 Tbsp. light brown sugar
2 tsp. milk as needed
1 tsp. vanilla extract

1. With an electric mixer, whip cream cheese and butter until fluffy.

2. Add brown sugar powdered sugar in small batches to cream cheese and butter mixture. Mix until smooth.

3. Add vanilla to frosting.

4. Add milk as needed to ensure a velvety texture.

Milk Chocolate Ganache

1 bag of milk chocolate chips
1/2 cup of heavy cream (I used half and half)

In a double boiler (a bowl sitting atop a pot of simmering water), melt chocolate chips. Add cream when they just start to melt. Mix until smooth.

**To decorate cupcakes, spoon a thin layer of ganache onto cooled cupcakes. Allow ganache to set for a few minutes, then using a round frosting tip, pipe cream cheese frosting on. Garnish with pumpkin seeds.

HIWWI: J. Crew Chambray Shirt

2011-10-27T21:57:00.000-04:00

{J. Crew Chambray Shirt, $98}

Most of my life, I was convinced I couldn't wear button-up shirts thanks to my ginormous tatas. I somehow got the notion that an ample bosom covered by buttons looked indecent and unflattering. But in the last few years, I realized what every prepubescent thirteen year-old boy has known for centuries: boobs are awesome! When I came to this realization, I promptly sought out a variety of button-ups to fill the sartorial void in my life, but the one item that has continued to elude me is the chambray button-up, like this one from J. Crew, which bring us to this week's HIWWI.

While I have dreams of pairing this with my Rachel Zoe-inspired 7 jeans in a fashion-forward homage to a Canadian tuxedo, I feel like knotting the shirt with a long, lacy skirt is a fun surprise.

{Urban Outfitters skirt, $39.99}

For some reason, I'm particularly drawn to the idea of a stacked-heel bootie with this look, even if it does hillbilly it up a bit. But hey, just go with it.

{Old Navy boot, $29.99}

Yes, just go with it, because when you top it all off with this statement necklace, it all makes perfect sense. Assuming of course, that statement is "I can't leave well enough alone," or "my daddy still pays my rent".

{Marc Jacobs necklace, $258}

What say ye, my fellow big (and small) chestical ladies? How do we feel about button-ups? How would you wear this chambray top? Leave me your thoughts, opinions, and brazziere size in the comments!

I Got Your Halloween Costume Right Here

2011-10-26T08:30:00.000-04:00

Because more than two people have approached me with questions about what they should be for Halloween, I have no choice but to embrace my newfound authority on all things costume. I mean, honestly, it should be expected from the person who whipped up this Alexis Rose costume:

Yes, that is me dressed as a female version of Axl Rose. Was that "baller" I just heard you say??

Even though I had all the pieces of my costume purchased and in hand WEEKS ago, apparently there are still many of you out there scrambling to find a slutty version of a banana costume to wear. In an effort to help you avoid looking moronic (without intending to, anyway) and perhaps the most original you'll look all year, I've rounded up a few ideas. If I'm leaving any good ones out, leave 'em in the comments!

Couple/Group costumes
What's that saying? The more the merrier...and the less ridiculous you look? Yes, a couples or group costume can do wonders for the total effect of your look. After all, what's Fred without Barney? Beavis without Butthead? Or Courtney Stodden without her 50-year-old husband?? If what you're really looking to do is leave a mark at your Halloween shindig this year, grab a buddy or two and make one of these happen!

Adele and her ex-boyfriend

Although we don't know who he is, we know all too well what Adele's ex is probably the worst human being alive. So, one of you wear a low ponytail, black dress, and heavy winged eyeliner, and the other one dress up as Bernie Madoff.

Any "Real Housewives" Cast (preferably Beverly Hills)

Great for a gaggle of gals or a group of dudes comfortable with their sexuality, the Real Housewives franchise provides AMPLE opportunity to get all your real feelings about your friends on the table. While I haven't watch each season, I don't see why you wouldn't want to go as the crazy ladies from Beverly Hills. I mean, there's a crazy former child star, Paris Hilton's aunt, and a meth addict...and that's just ONE person!! Oh, how the hilarity could, and surely will, ensue.

Amanda Knox and Casey Anthony

Look, it's America's Sweethearts! Now that they've both been officially vindicated, we can all go back to proudly sporting mousy brown hair, dowdy clothes, and a crazy look in our eye. And ladies, word to the wise, if you're looking to hook up this Halloween, these are your costumes, because every guy I know would glady hate f*ck the hell out of these two. You're welcome.

Tom Haverford and Jean-Ralphio

It's come to my attention in recent weeks that I have something a male readership, so boys, this one's for you. Parks and Recreation is one of my absolute favorite shows on the talk box right now. If you're not watching it and laughing every 3 seconds, we can no longer be friends. However, if you're already obsessdies with it like I am, you'll know exactly who Tom and Jean-Ralphio are. Like an Amanda Knox/Casey Anthony duo, this one will no doubt bring all the ladies and their milkshakes to your yard, fellas. Bonus: these costumes don't require much more than a suit, a choreographed handshake, and an excessive amount of Axe body spray.

Inanimate Objects
Every year, some douchebag shows up to the party dressed as like, the national debt or a free mammogram (which should be taken seriously btw, ladies!), but instead of just TELLING people you're something completely douchey, why don't you actually try DRESSING as something douchey? Ehhhh???

iPhone Siri

Not since Robin Williams' dramatic turn in American movie classic "Millennium Man" has a nation been so taken with artificial intelligence. Siri may not have feelings or ya know, a body, but what she lacks in physical traits she more than makes up for in her cold, callused demeanor. To be Siri this Halloween, you can wear an iPhone made out of cardboard and have people ask you questions all night with guaranteed bitchy responses, or you can just go as Santana from Glee. It's up to you.

The McRib

Sooooooooo, I don't know if you heard, but the McRib is back. Seeing how the point of Halloween is to scare the literal shit out of someone, and I can neither imagine anything scarier nor something that would induce as much fecal matter from a person as a McRib, here's the winner for scariest costume this year.

Suri's Burn Book

If you're not religiously reading Suri's Burn Book, please remedy this ASAP. Like Regina George before her, "Suri" takes pen to paper (or keystroke to Tumblr page) to muse on all things celebrity children, generally to reprimand her own mother's sense of style...or lack thereof. Suri's burn book would be a great costume because it would give you free reign to chastise everyone's clothing, shoes, and general demeanor. Bonus tip: Make it a couple's costume and bring along mom Katie or wacky dad Tom!

Solo Costumes
Most of you will likely wait to the last minute to get your act together and end up flying solo costume-wise this year. These ideas should be both easy to wrangle up at the last minute and huge hits at whatever Halloween festivity you deem worthy enough to grace with your presence.

Lindsay Lohan

I wish there were some explanation I could provide for going as Lindsanity for Halloween, but nothing could really do as much justice as the visual above. Advice for the night: stay away from the candy, lest you want these teeth.

Boo, the Dog

Want to steal the attention from all the slutty cops, slutty angels, and slutty nuns on Halloween? What about all the people in costume, too?? Go as the world's cutest dog then! All you need for this costume is excessive body hair and puppy dog eyes. A tail wouldn't hurt either. Warning: heavy petting may occur in costume.

Jennifer Lopez, who can't stop crying

By now, you've heard of JLo's emotional on-stage outburst. What you haven't seen is her offstage wallowing as well! This Halloween, stuff some junk in your trunk, wear all your diamonds at once, and burst into endless tears at the most inopportune moments possible. Apple Bobbing? More like Apple Sobbing! Pumpkin Carving? More like Pumpkin Crying! Trick-or-Treating?? More like Tears Trick-ling down My Face and Eat-ing My Feelings!!!! Alright, so that one's a stretch, but you get where I'm going with this!!

Two Girls, One Ingredient: Butternut Squash

2011-10-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Anyone Born After 1993,

As a child of the 80's, having a pen pal was a basic rite of passage, like learning to swim or the first time you hear a swear word. You see, people born after 1993, once upon a time, there were no computers, no smart phones, and certainly no internet, let alone lolcats! A time when we actually learned how to write in cursive. The horror!! So, what did we do in such uncivilized times to keep ourselves busy, besides hunting buffalo and squirrels (and yes, that is a reference to Oregon Trail)? Well, our parents set us up with a pen pal--basically a perfect stranger from the opposite side of the world, with whom we could trade HAND written notes about school, home, and other boring crap that kids want to talk about. Sometimes there were even real live pictures sent too! Sure, it tapered off after about 4 or 5 letters, but it was always exhilarating to get a piece of mail with your name inscribed on it while it lasted.

Sadly, pen pals died out when Facebook and the social media outlet du jour came to dominate any chance at human interaction we otherwise might have had. At least, that's what I thought until I was introduced to Jenna at the Paleo Project. Wouldn't ya know, it was a Facebook friend of mine that first introduced me to the Paleo Project earlier this year, and I've been girl crushing ever since. It started with a bit of mutual comment posting on each other's blogs, and over time morphed into guest blog posts, Facebook friending, and even texting!! Yes, little, tiny people born sometime after the year 1993, it's a modern-day version of a pen pal!

Jenna and I discovered we shared a love of several things, including but not limited to creating innovative and delicious paleo eats, blogging, and staring at pictures of ourselves. Which is why, dear dear little people born post-1993, we've decided it best to combine our forces and delve head first into a new joint-venture: Two Faced! The concept is simple--each week, we take one ingredient and each put our own spin on it. That's it. Start here, end there. Or vice versa. Whatever, it doesn't matter. All that really matters are people sharing common human experiences, isn't that right, people barely able to vote?

So with that, I implore you to unlock the chains of modern technological advancement, take your thumb directly out of your ass, and join the HUMAN experience. Unless of course, you're online reading this blog and that blog. The human experience can wait another 15 minutes. Trust.

XO,

Melissa

************************************************************************************************************

For this edition of Two Faced, we're tackling the very versatile butternut squash. I stumbled across this recipe for butternut squash fries, and unlike one of my favorite recipes for sweet potato fries, this one promised crispy "fries." I played detective to find out if it's true.

Firstly, you need a butternut squash--duh! You're only using the top, straight section here, so the taller it is, the better. Having recently become the proud owner of a mandolin slicer, I used mine to cut the squash into fries. They came out a bit thin, but hell, it was less work for me!

So, the crispy fry thing. Let's talk about this. Like sweet potatoes, squash has a high water content, making it difficult to roast in an oven without become soft/mushy/soggy/insert-undesirable-fry-texture-word-of-choice-here. The cure? Sweat 'em. Like you would sweat an onion in a saute pan. In case you're a total trainwreck in the kitchen, what that means is lay the fries on a pan covered with paper towels and generously sprinkle kosher salt all over them to draw the moisture from the fries. Eventually, they're gonna look like they're sweating worse than a whore in church.

The recipe I used suggested letting them sweat for about 30 minutes, but honestly, there was still a good amount of moisture left in mine. I could totally see doing this for several hours, or even overnight, but I was short on time, so I didn't do that.

Once they've sweated, you then need to thoroughly pat them dry. I worked in small batches and used countless paper towels. Again, I wonder if sweating them longer would help.

The next trick to getting a crispy fry, supposedly, is not to roast the fries, but to broil them. The recipe strictly says to use a scant amount of oil (coconut or olive), but frankly, I would recommend skipping it altogether. Even though I only drizzled a bit onto the pan directly to prevent sticking, many of my fries still came out soft. Next time, I'm going to pass on the oil altogether and broil the fries on parchment paper.

Now, all that aside, these did turn out really tasty, and some were even near crispy! I thought about making a sage aioli to go with them, but after trying them with ketchup, there was no need. Served this way, they actually DO taste like real french fries. You can see the full version of the recipe here.

Head on over to The Paleo Project to see the amazing pie Jenna whipped up!

Uptight Lady's Strata

2011-10-20T21:51:00.000-04:00

Have you seen The Family Stone? It's this amazing movie with SJP and Luke Wilson. Oh, Diane Keaton is in it too. And Rachel McAdams. Claire Danes is in it too, but who cares? Anyway, it's this movie centered around Christmastime (hello, seasonal reference!) and Diane Keaton's matriarch character intimidating SJP's tightly wound Meredith, would-be fiance of eldest Stone boy, Everett. Anyway, it's an emotional rollercoaster of...emotions. You'll laugh, you'll cry--you'll UGLY cry. It's serious. Seriously.

Anyway, there's a scene in the movie where SJP's relentless efforts to be accepted into the Stone family result in her attempt to make the perfect Christmas morning breakfast: The Morton family strata.

When I saw this movie, I had no idea what a strata was, but from Meredith's Martha Stewart-esque description, it's basically a fancy way of saying "breakfast casserole." I mean, it's eggs, some cheese, meat, and, in this case, stars of bread. My mom used to make something really similar, minus the star-shaped bread (we just tore it into chunks). Breakfast casserole was a kind of special treat in our house, like french toast or extended curfews, so we didn't have it often, but when we did, I generally had a serving, or three.

Even though I've brainwashed myself on the evils of bread and all things glutenous, I still find myself craving breakfast casserole, especially on the weekends. It's incredibly easy to pull together, serves a ton, and, of course tasty. So this weekend, I "challenged" myself to make a paleo version. I use the word "challenge" loosely, as my idea of making something with bread or potatoes paleo is to swap it out for cauliflower. And so that's exactly what I did.

When you're making a breakfast casserole, think of ingredients you would use in an omelet, since basically this is just a giant pan of omelet. I used onions, mushrooms, sausage, sage, and goat cheese.

It was basically delicious.

Breakfast Casserole (otherwise known as Uptight Lady's Strata)*
Makes 9 large servings

12 eggs
1/2 head of cauliflower, cut into small chunks
1/2 pound pork sausage
1 yellow onion, diced
A couple handfuls of mushrooms
A few fresh sage leaves
Goat cheese
salt and pepper to taste

1.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2.) In a pan, saute diced onion in olive oil or butter until translucent. Add sausage to brown. Set aside.

3.) In a medium sized bowl, whisk eggs with salt, pepper, and chopped sage. Pour onion and sausage mixture and mushrooms into a 9x13 inch casserole dish. Pour whisked eggs on top of that. Top with crumbled goat cheese.

4.) Bake for 20 minutes, or until eggs have set.

*You can use any combination of ingredients here. Try green chilies, spicy chorizo and mozzarella for a southwestern flavor or artichokes, sundried tomatoes, and feta for a Mediterranean flavor. The sky's the limit! And don't let any uptight lady's tell ya any differently!